I’ve had a lot of sex. I know y’all find that revelation shocking. With that being said, I’ve also had a few *cough* partners. Couple that with my exhibitionist tendencies and it’s a recipe to get busy in some crazy places. It wasn’t always sex though. Sometimes it was just orgasms. Pfft. “Just orgasms.” Who the fuck says, “just orgasms?”
Anyway, here goes…
1.) Handcuffed to a chair in a bar – He was an on-duty police officer patrolling Underground Atlanta on New Year’s Eve. He was hot with handcuffs, and he overheard my comment saying so as he and his partner passed by. The acknowledging grin he gave me was a wicked one. Still on the city’s dime, he wandered into the bar where we had settled. He introduced himself and I immediately challenged him while tracing the outline of his…gun with my finger. He said he could make me beg and I dared him to try. Before I knew it, I was handcuffed to a chair with his hand underneath my spandex dress. He brought me to orgasm in a bar full of people. And it was fantastic.
2.) The hood of a corvette – Unlike Milli Vanilli, I couldn’t blame it on the rain. I could, however, blame it on the overabundance of tequila shots and the incredibly hot lead singer of the band that was playing the club that night. I laughed when he said there was something different about me that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Well he did end up putting his finger on it, among other things, on the top level of a parking deck in downtown Atlanta. But I wasn’t completely naked as he ravaged me on the hood of his car. I still wore my thigh-high boots, because I always keep it classy.
3.) A motorcycle – He’d pass behind me in the bar and grab a handful of my hair making me aware of his presence. Sometimes I’d let him kiss me, but only briefly. It was a game we played often. One afternoon, he invited me out for a motorcycle ride and I went, of course. I sat close to him on the back of the bike, my arms wrapped around him, my hand on his hard cock. When the ride was over, he parked the motorcycle in his garage and closed the door. I was pulled onto his lap and stripped of my sundress. It was hot. No seriously, the heat radiating from the bike was really fucking hot.
4.) A truck – He was a businessman I’d met online. I was immediately drawn to his intellect, and the desire to explore kinky desires with him quickly followed. He slipped his hand into the back of my jeans as we shared conversation and a bottle of my favorite wine. We wanted each other and waiting was not an option. The door of his truck was barely closed before he pulled my jeans off and threw my legs over his shoulders. The beauty of it is that we weren’t horny twenty-somethings with little experience and even less self-control. We were horny forty-somethings who knew that quality orgasms required a cerebral connection. And that we could still fuck like teenagers in the backseat of a truck.
Out of the crazy places I’ve done the deed, these are the ones that have provided me with the fondest of memories. Although the memory of being bent over the counter in the car dealership restroom does bring a smile to my face. And remembering the time I stood in front of the mirror, my eyes wide from shock as I stared at the little black hearts that had been drawn all over my naked body with a magic marker by a hockey player makes me laugh hysterically. That doesn’t exactly fall into the category of crazy locations though, but it was definitely some sort of crazy. Possibly even a little bat-shit crazy. But I’m not one to judge.