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Posts Tagged ‘top sex blog’

  1. Decriminalizing Sex Work

    September 11, 2015 by Nikki Blue

    Recently Amnesty International made headlines by proposing a policy to decriminalize sex work.

    “Sex workers are one of the most marginalized groups in the world. In many countries, they are threatened with a whole host of abuses, including rape, beatings, trafficking, extortion forced eviction and discrimination, including exclusion from health services. More often than not, they get no, or very little, legal protection. In fact, in many cases these violations and abuses are carried out by the police, clients and abusive third parties.”

    It should be noted that Amnesty International wasn’t suggesting that sex work be legalized. With their policy of decriminalization, they hope to offer sex workers the protection of basic human rights and to take them out of the role of “accomplice” to a crime, which is their livelihood.

    “The decriminalization of sex work means that sex workers are no longer breaking the law by carrying out sex work. They are not forced to live outside the law and there is better scope for their human rights to be protected.”

    “If sex work is legalized, it means that the state makes very specific laws and policies that formally regulate sex work. This can lead to a two tier system where many sex workers operate outside these regulations and are still criminalised – often the most marginalised street based sex workers. Decriminalization places greater control into the hands of sex workers to operate independently, self-organise in informal cooperatives and control their own working environments in a way that legalization often does not.”

    To read more about Amnesty’s policy, click here.

    Some may be surprised to know that sex work doesn’t only include street-based sex workers or escorts, like Escorts and Babes. Adult film actors/actresses, exotic dancers, brothel workers, incall/outcall workers, phone sex operators, rent boys, nude models, webcam models, full-body masseuses, adult film producers, dominatrixes, and adult website owners are all part of what is considered sex work.

    Since Amnesty International published their proposal some sex workers, like this male escort, have been voicing their stories. Most of the sex workers I’ve met, and read about, didn’t choose sex work because they thought they’d earn the respect of their community and have fun. They were men and women who were trying to keep a roof over their family’s head and food on the table. And all human beings, regardless of their jobs, deserve basic human rights like access to healthcare, and legal protection.

    The sex trade is never going to disappear. That line about it being the ‘oldest profession’ is true. There will always be a demand for sex and people willing to pay for it. Rather than vilify the people performing this service, we have the power to give sex workers dignity and decriminalize their work. We could change things so that it’s not a risk to their personal safety to earn a living. Decriminalization also means giving workers a chance to do something different and make different choices if they want, instead of branding them with a scarlet letter on their official record that will limit any future jobs unrelated to sex. Decriminalization of sex work means breaking the cycle that marginalizes its workers, so that legal efforts can focus on human trafficking and those forced into sexual slavery.

    I wrote this article at my favorite cafe, and a stranger approached me and asked what I was writing about. I told him the title of the article, and his reaction was to ask me why I cared about “Pasquale the street walker” and Pasquale’s abuse at the hands of the police in some foreign country. I was taken aback at first. Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the people living at the fringes of our society? I was surprised that he considered the plight of a sex worker a problem for developing nations. Honey, sex work is right here in the good ‘ol USofA. It made me want to challenge his privileged viewpoint, but I was flustered that 1. he had asked specifically about my topic, and 2. I had answered honestly.

    When I replayed our interaction, I wish I had answered differently. I wish I had asked him his personal opinion. “If a white, older man paid me to tie him up, spank his bare bottom, and then impale him with a large phallus in his anus in a private home, should I be denied a safe place to live? Should I be refused medical insurance? Should I fear for my personal safety, because I was paid to perform a service? You, dear stranger, may have a strong reaction to the nature of the particular service. But should I, the service provider, be denied basic human rights for fulfilling it?”

    Sex work is a taboo subject in this country. Most people want to go about their lives like it doesn’t exist, or we only talk about it in reference to a bachelor party or the incredibly unrealistic, Pretty Woman. And I get it. It’s challenging to separate how we feel about the morality of paying for sex from the people who are fulfilling the sex work. In my opinion, we’re all human beings and we all deserve to be treated as such. ~Heather

    And something else…you never know who is a sex worker. It’s not like they wear a t-shirt or a super-cool badge. Most sex workers fly under the radar, not wanting their profession to be known for fear of being outed to public scrutiny, or worse, being arrested.

    A sex worker–in any industry–could be the single mother in the car in front of you, dropping off her child at school. It could be the man shopping for produce at the farmer’s market, or the young woman attending college classes. You don’t know the reasons why they chose the job that they did, and believe me, it is a job. So if you do happen to meet a person who is a sex worker, be nice and have empathy. You may not realize it, but we need them. They are a vital piece in becoming the sex-positive world we are working toward, so for fucks sake, show some respect. ~Nikki


  2. She’s just a girl on fire

    August 15, 2015 by Heather Cole

    woman with candle

    Fire brings up all sorts of emotions when you play with it. Even before the flames kiss your skin, there’s the rush of anticipation blowing through you, accompanied by a flicker of fear. It’s elemental. Primal. And when my friend texted me about joining her and her partner for some fire play, I was all for it.

    My introduction to fire play began with a text:

    “Can I light you on fire?”

    It was sent from my friend, Stormy, who is the queen of no-context texts. I replied, of course, with a similar cheeky attitude.

    “Literally on fire? No. I like these shorts too much.”

    S: “Oh, I’d need you naked first.”

    Me: “Then yes! You can absolutely set me on fire!”

    Before you think that I let any ‘ol person light me on fire, I already knew that Stormy’s partner, D, was experienced with fire play. She wanted to learn too, and she needed a demo bottom to experiment with. Add to that the fact that I adore them both and trust them implicitly, so I knew that I was in good hands for my first foray into fire.

    D created torches from fondue forks, cotton batting, and cotton finger bandages. He then dipped them in rubbing alcohol and set them on fire. I know there are a lot of details in the process that I’m missing, but my focus wasn’t on how it all worked. I was more interested in how it would feel. (Hey, if you want to play with fire, for heaven’s sake, do your research and go to a demonstration first.)

    Even with my full consent, I felt a spike of anxiety as I lay on the massage table in their bedroom and waited to feel the first burst of warmth across my body. We started out with me on my stomach on the massage table. D explained to Stormy the different techniques he enjoyed as the torches hovered over my body in various places. The gentle warmth was soothing as I closed my eyes, and some of the tension in my body drained away. Sometimes he drew a path of alcohol first, followed by a lighted torch that would burn the trail of rubbing alcohol. He often brushed behind the flames with his palm to ensure that all the fire was out. The point was to burn the alcohol and feel the fire without doing any damage to the skin. I appreciated that.

    The experimentation began, and Stormy lit lines of fire over my back. D watched from the bed with a blanket beside him in case we needed to smother an out-of-control flame. Even though we were consenting adults, we were playing with fire–literally. And it was better to have safety precautions in place beforehand instead of hoping for the best that there would be no accidents.

    Stormy’s light touch and the racing fire gave me all sorts of ideas. Her excitement about learning a new skill lent itself to my building arousal, and I couldn’t help but squirm beneath her ministrations. The way she manipulated the flames made me wish that she’d do even more with her hands. I felt a keen edge of danger that accompanied the heat, even though I knew logically that I was mostly safe. And all of it fed into a wanton throbbing between my legs.

    I didn’t act upon my desires, mainly because I hadn’t cleared any of that beforehand with my sir, and secondly, I can be a complete wimp when it comes to making the first move on a woman. At the end of the night I gave D and stormy friendly hugs and gratitude, and went straight home to work out my raging libido with my vibrator. I reported everything to sir, and enjoyed myself so much that when sir arrived stateside for his month-long vacation, he asked to learn fire play too.

    My second fire play scene began with me, once again, face-down on the massage table. Even though I couldn’t see the three people circling me, I could identify the individuals from their different fire styles. Stormy had an even rhythm:  fire, sweep of the hand, fire, sweep of the hand. She could have lulled me into a meditative, relaxed state, even when she traced the flame along the soles of my feet. D placed the alcohol and torch with more force. His movements incited a visceral reaction, something I felt in my gut. There was the staccato rush of intense heat, and then it was gone a split-second later that made me writhe. Sir’s effect on me was different.

    His flame was sneaky, and he enjoyed watching it burn along the dips and curves of my flesh. He didn’t have a particular rhythm or pattern, and he didn’t always sweep behind the trailing alcohol with his hand. As a result, the heat grew more intense depending on where he placed its path, and there were several times I squealed in protest, worried that it was burning too long.

    Daddy knows how to play with my mind like no other, and when he told me to turn over so that my front was exposed, I knew he was going to twist my feelings into the fire that played over my tenderest bits. Blue flame danced over my breasts and nipples, and he made me watch, chuckling when I begged to be allowed to close my eyes again. Seeing the fire made the sensations on my skin ratchet up in intensity, which fought against my will to remain as motionless as possible. Stormy came to sit between my legs, her hands stroking my calves and thighs.

    Again the desire built inside me. The stimulus was intense, and my instincts warred against one another. I wanted to kiss Stormy and arch against sir’s hand on my breast. I could have brushed against the front of D’s body when he bent over me or stroked the growing wetness at the juncture of my thighs. But I had to remain still as the fire bound me in place more effectively than any rope. Their attentions and the rioting sensations made the entire scene an intense roller coaster ride. To be honest, I can’t even remember if Daddy gave me an orgasm or not—everything began to run together in a long series of intense stimulus. I had no sense of time, but when they finally wound down, I was spent.

    D cleaned up while I clumsily got back into my clothes. After many thank yous to Stormy and D for the amazing experience, I asked Daddy to drive because I was spacey. He surprised me, and instead of going directly home, he took a detour to our favorite burger joint to feed me cheeseburgers at midnight. Later we snuggled in bed as my endorphin high gradually faded, and I reflected on the different sensations of fire play vs the impact play that I typically enjoy. Both are dangerous, and I’m lucky to have relationships where I skirt that danger safely yet still experience a thrill. I got to be that girl on fire.

     


  3. Fifty Shades of NO: The Movie

    July 9, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

    I watched Fifty Shades of Grey the other night. I haven’t read the books, mostly because of the lackluster (poorly written) excerpts I read online. Sir watched it last week, though, and his feedback surprised me. He said there was a D/s contract and negotiation, and even though I was openly incredulous, I knew I had to watch it for the sole purpose of being able to discuss it with him. Plus, sir said that Mr. Grey’s playroom was kickass, and I’m a sucker for a well-appointed dungeon. I settled into bed after my child fell asleep, and watched the movie with my phone in my hand, so I could text Nikki about all the failings of the movie and its portrayal of D/s.

    I discovered that Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie, is about a woman who doesn’t want to be a submissive. She wants a billionaire boyfriend that treats her to amazing, spectacular adventures like flights in a glider, a helicopter, and buys her fab things. She wants love and romance, to be courted and swept off her feet. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The crux of the problem is that the billionaire boyfriend is a dominant and a sadist, and what he wants is a submissive with a signed contract that commits to a D/s relationship, which doesn’t guarantee emotional intimacy. At least, not the kind of emotional intimacy that a more traditional dating relationship would entail. Christian Grey also has a tendency to creep, stalk, and lurk. Add to these conflicting, fundamental differences the fact that BOTH characters are positively shitty communicators, and you have the basic gist of this movie.

    But… but… Heather, you say, aren’t you always going on and on about the physical and emotional intimacy you enjoy through BDSM? How can Mr. Grey be anything but a cad and a blackguard for wanting Anastasia bound and naked yet not wanting to cuddle with her overnight?

    My perspective of this movie is from the viewpoint of a woman who signed a D/s contract without the promise of romance. I committed myself to a dominant without the knowledge that we would fall deeply in love and that our partnership would expand into “regular” life. What I desired most of all was a man that would hurt me in all the ways that I wanted, who would use me, control me, and degrade me in the most delicious ways I could imagine. I wanted bondage, and pain; an outlet for those nameless things that clamored inside me–I wanted to serve. And I knew that sir was a decent man, one who would keep me safe while I explored all the dark, twisting turns of my desires. I knew he would be a caretaker for me in those times of domination and submission, but in the beginning, I didn’t have aspirations that our D/s would follow a path to romance and courtship. I had no expectation that we would live together, that my submission would turn 24/7, or that we would continue together despite an overseas relocation and months of separation.

    So no, I don’t think Mr. Grey is fucked up for being a dominant or a sadist. He lacks the ability to communicate his feelings to the unwilling, yet grudgingly submitting Anastasia. He utters the words “due diligence” to her, yet they fail to do anything except some light bondage and fucking six-ways-to-Sunday in the playroom. That’s all well and good, but she needed to do actual research on D/s (it’s called Google, Anastasia). Contracts in D/s can be a big frickin’ deal, and even though they aren’t legally binding, I would never enter into one without a lot of thought and consideration beforehand. But that’s a rant for a different day.

    Where Mr. Grey did fuck up (besides the stalking, lurking, and non-consensual control) was that he didn’t say anything regarding the trauma of his past (talking to someone when they’re asleep doesn’t count), or how it’s possible to be a loving sadist/dominant. Probably because he’s completely unfamiliar with what a functioning relationship may feel like.

    With such fundamental differences between them, you know the movie isn’t going to end well. It really doesn’t. In fact, it’s the last twenty minutes of the movie that made me hate it. Because nothing infuriates me more than a play partner begging for a certain thing, hating it but not using their safewords, and then when it’s all over, shaming the other person for doing the exact thing that they requested earlier. This sort of interaction is precisely why BDSM gets a bad rep when our lifestyle is actually based upon a foundation of consent and trust. And the simple act of writing about it has pissed me off all over again.

    sigh…

    I need a glass of wine and funny cat videos to forget this clusterfuck of a movie.

     

    For an eloquent fact-checking article regarding the “kink” (yeah, I placed that in quotes) in FSoG, Nikki found a great article written by actual kinky folks who engage in actual Dominance/submission. Read it HERE.

    ~And since Heather watched the movie, sharing with me a bazillion texts regarding its ridiculousness as it unfolded, I’ve agreed to finally read the clusterfuck of a book. Oy.~ Nikki


  4. Online Dating: Finding What You Want

    July 6, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Online love button on the keyboard. Toned Image.

    When venturing into the world of dating, it seems like the activity can be broken down into two primary categories. You have your standard, traditional form of dating that can begin with something as simple as a casual coffee, then graduate to dinner, and possibly more. Then there is the more casual, dare we say recreational, style of dating–the hook-up. Both types of interactions offer aspects that might suit certain people and turn away others. Regardless of which you choose, there are some fundamental rules y’all should be following when looking for potential matches online.

    First and foremost:  READ THEIR DAMN PROFILE. Don’t skim it. Don’t just look at their photo on the profile and decide they’re the penis or pussy of your dreams. (By the way, don’t ever make a photo of your love log or love cave your profile pic–even if it’s your favorite part of your anatomy. Yes, we said ‘love log.’) Read every word they’ve written. Hopefully they’ve mentioned the qualities they’re looking for in a prospective date, one of which should be they type of relationship they’re looking for–something casual, long-term, or somewhere in between.

    Casual dating brings to mind non-commitment–a sense of freedom. You aren’t attached solely to one person, but instead can go as you please, meeting and dating as many people as you like. It’s this carefree, relaxed nature that some individuals prefer. Furthermore the term “no strings attached” implies that sex is the main focus of the encounter. It’s a hobby to some, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as everyone is upfront and communicates their objectives. Finding singles who want no strings sex can prove as challenging as meeting the mate of your dreams, but for different reasons. In both instances you have to do some research on the person (it’s called Google, y’all) to ensure that you’re not dealing with a psychopath, and regardless of whether you want to see them again or not, play responsibly and ALWAYs practice safe sex.

    Secondly: Send a grammatically correct, interesting first message. It doesn’t have to be long, but you should comment or include a fact that you learned about them based on reading their entire profile. Even if it’s only to hook up for one night of wild monkey sex, make that first message count.

    Do THIS: “Dear Wild Monkey Sex Man: As it turns out, I happen to share your passion for bananas. I would love to talk to you about it sometime. Do you text? xxxx”

    DON’T do this: “How RU”

    And definitely don’t do this: “What’s up?”

    And really don’t do this: “Kneel before me and worship my ____!”

    Third: Be upfront about what you want in a relationship or in your sexual encounter. This circles back to our first topic. Throughout the search process, being honest about the type of person you’re searching for will save everyone time (and a massive headache) in the end. Even if your focus is sex, be open to discussing the characteristics that you want. Are you looking for a certain size? Height? Ability to enact all of the Kama Sutra? Talk about it or you’ll never have a chance at finding what you desire.

    What? You don’t want to talk about your expectations? While many find it difficult and embarrassing to discuss what they might like to try with a partner, it will be easier to bring up your wildest fantasies with someone who is a match for your experiences. You can both pitch ideas back and forth and find out more about yourself sexually and emotionally. You never know, you may discover a few things about yourself in the process.

     


  5. A Little Help for My Friends–Golden Showers Edition

    May 5, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Legs and Heart

    Creating a BDSM scene takes creativity, communication, and cooperation. The submissive and Dominant work together to make an experience. The more complex the experience, the longer it takes to plan. This is one of the reasons I love having kinky friends, because when they have an idea that they need help transitioning from fantasy to reality, I like to help if I can. I’m a giver that way.

    I got a call from a friend who needed help with a scene with her male submissive. I had helped her before, and I admired her creativity and ingenuity. Her submissive was into degradation and humiliation, and he wanted more than anything to be pissed on by a female. My friend could have done it, but she knew she’d have her hands full (literally) with some cock and ball torture. There are times like these when Dominants could use an extra hand, and she wanted to know if I could donate… some pee.

    Urine is not a fetish of mine. In fact, I heartily object when sir wants to piss on me although I still submit to the treatment. In the scheme of things, I don’t find it arousing although the humiliation can be hot. Peeing on someone else, though, was a titillating idea for me. I’ve had many a kinky adventure with golden showers, and I jumped at the chance to try something new. Because really, who doesn’t want to pee on another willing human being for fun?

    At 9:00 a.m. I got the text that her submissive was amenable to her plan, and I immediately started pounding Mason jars full of water. My friend said that she wanted me “practically bursting” by the time I arrived, and even though my spirit was willing, my body had other ideas. My system figured we were doing some type of cleanse, and after the first couple quarts of water, I was in the bathroom. Which meant that I had to drink even more, so that I could pee on command for the guy. I tried to work, but instead I made one long, circuitous route from the kitchen to get water, upstairs to my office to drink it, and then to the bathroom. The entire time I asked myself, “can I hold it?” “How bad do I really have to pee?” “Do I think I have enough pee to provide a satisfying experience?”

    I arrived at the house at my allotted time (after downing another quart of water on the drive over) and opened the front door, knowing in advance that she would leave it unlocked for me. The sunken living room to my left was dominated by a wooden Saint Andrew’s Cross and a huge square frame that she used for tying up willing submissives. There was a tall, middle-aged man against the cross, naked, and stroking his very large cock. I had just enough time to murmur an appreciative hello before my friend waved me over.

    I barely had enough time to discard my purse before she had pulled a chair in front of the man and ordered me to strip. I did so as she scurried out of the room, only to return moments later with a large glass of water. I almost groaned out loud at the thought of drinking more, but she warned me that we wouldn’t start until all that water had disappeared down my throat.

    Sometimes it is so hard being a helpful submissive.

    I sat on the chair and opened my thighs wide, watching the naked man with greedy eyes. I quickly learned that I could masturbate and drink a glass of water at the same time. It’s slightly less difficult than patting my head while rubbing my stomach at the same time. The water was icy in contrast to the heat coming off my body. Every movement of his hand, from the base of his erection to the tip, made me think dirty thoughts about impaling myself. That wasn’t part of the game plan, so I concentrated on edging myself ever closer to orgasm. My legs started to tremble–I was so close. But my friend appeared with a Hitachi and motioned us upstairs. I was a little disappointed and tried not to pout. After all, this scene wasn’t about me getting off. It was about fulfilling the desires of another submissive.

    My friend expertly tied a long cotton shoestring around the man’s cock and balls, making his penis even larger than before, the color deepening into a dark red. We crowded into the bathroom, two naked people and one fully dressed, while she ran warm water in the shower to make it more comfortable for her submissive. She told him to lie on his back in the tub and instructed me to straddle him while I masturbated anally. Again, this was easier than patting my head while rubbing my stomach. I climbed into the tub and placed one foot on the soap holder so that he had a good view of my pussy and would be able to see my dildo move in and out of my anus. The entire time that it took for me to position myself, the sub rubbed his cock and ate up every inch of my body with his blue eyes.

    I felt the flutter of butterflies in my stomach as I stood over him, but I also experienced a rush of adrenaline. I knew in that moment that I was going to pee on that boy like a motherfucking champion urinator. (That’s totally a thing.) My friend crouched beside him and whispered filthy things in his ear as I let go of my golden stream. It splashed all over his genitals and against my legs. A small part of me had the instinctive reaction of “ew, gross!” A bigger part of me reveled in the sensations–the feeling of warm liquid trickling over my skin accompanied by the slight smell of ammonia in the air. Possessing control over myself, and to some degree, this other person was a big adrenaline rush. In that moment, his pleasure was mine to play with and do what I willed. I was grinning like a mad person, high on exhilaration and the dildo’s friction.

    The man groaned, and his pace quickened. I mirrored him, knowing that even if I didn’t orgasm, it felt too damn good to stop. I let out a gasp of surprise as the anal orgasm blew through me, and I grabbed on to the tiled wall for support. I collected myself as my friend and I both watched as he shouted and ejaculated on to his stomach a few moments later. We were a smiling, laughing, happy mess.

    My friend asked me later about the scene, and I was pleased to report that I had nothing but good things to say about my experience, even though I spent the rest of the evening peeing in the normal, boring bathroom kind of way. I’m looking forward to the next time she calls, because I do love helping my friends.


  6. Want a SPRING FLING?

    April 18, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Spring Fling Collage

    In honor of spring and all the things associated with it:  new beginnings, taking a chance, indulging a whim, a fresh look, bees getting busy, hayfever, and most importantly, NEW LOVE, the Kinklectic gang has written and compiled another anthology. SPRING FLING is our most eclectic collection of stories yet.

    You can buy it here on Amazon for $.99 or FREE if you have KU!

    Today, Saturday April 4, we’re throwing a Spring Fling party on Facebook. Attendees will get a free copy in exchange for a review. The fun starts at 2:00 PST or 5:00 EST and goes for three hours. C’mon by and join the hijinks!

     

    Here’s a taste of what you’ll get in this springtime bundle:

    7 Fresh Stories from KINKLECTIC! Perhaps our most eclectic bundle yet…

    THE SULTAN’S SPRING REVIEW by Heather Cole
    Every spring the Sultan of Saldyna opens the doors to his special menagerie for select guests, and this year, he invited the ambassador and his wife, Raya. Raya is surprised to learn that the sultan has a special request of her regarding a certain shapeshifter. And when Raya and the shapeshifter meet–sparks fly.

    SPRING RESORT by Jane Danger
    Still reeling from the very public demise of her last relationship, Willow is hard-pressed to get through a day without crying, let alone start looking for love again, but when a sexy new business acquaintance makes her an offer she can’t deny, what Willow thought was impossible suddenly becomes possible or so she thinks.

    Can paradise be just the thing she needs to begin anew or is she wading into dangerous territory by letting a wealthy banker tempt her heart and her body?

    2.0 by Troy King
    Katherine Zaya is beta testing a remarkable piece of software that’s about to get even more amazing with the upgrade to 2.0. Will she be able to retain herself when her mind becomes her ultimate playground?

    NIGHT NURSE: Spring Fling by Fallen Kittie
    Melanie, resumes her indulgent intimacies following her night shift. Clark incinerates her inhibitions; but this time around, flames also fly between best friends.

    SPRUNG by Audrey Lusk
    In a very near future of ultimate debt, some people still find a spot of brightness.

    SHIFTER – Grizzly PART 1 by Emerald Wright
    Cassidy is no longer an aspiring author. She hit the big-time, money-wise with her paranormal erotic romance shifter titles that are all the rage. She’s a success!

    With her finances secure, she is taking a break from the genre and revisiting a former dream of writing the great American novel. First, she needs to get her latest book completed and in the hands of her publisher, ASAP. There’s just one problem, she’s switched out the last three chapters and needs them to be edited. But her editor isn’t available. What’s an author to do?

    Help comes in the shape and form of Abe. New to town, a seasoned editor and ruggedly handsome, he’s not only willing to take on the editing job, he can do it fast. When they meet, the chemistry is instant and Abe is drawn to the curvy writer.

    UNDISCLOSED DESIRES by Evan J. Xavier
    Two best friends escape their college dorm and head to spring break for a week of debauchery in one of the most salacious places on earth, New Orleans, looking for both the ‘big’ and the ‘easy.’ One dark alley, a cowboy and an ex-pro NFL stepbrother takes center stage.

    Spring Fling


  7. BDSM 101 Tips for the Newbie Kinkster

    March 17, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Valentine's Day BDSM gift

    No matter how hot things start out, over time, your sex life with your partner can get a little stale. You form a routine, and then before you know it, you’re in a rut. But instead of subjecting yourselves to a mediocre sex life, why not try some kinkier moves to help heat things up again? Before jumping into the deep end, take a look at our guide to help you dip your toes (and much more, of course) into the BDSM pool.

    Bondage

    In their Kinky Sex 101 guide, the writers at Adam & Eve describe the act of bondage as “a simple form of dominant/submissive sexual behavior where one sex partner is bound either to themselves (wrists tied together) or to a piece of furniture.” When experimenting with bondage, you can make yourself privy to your partner’s every whim by strapping into some cuffs, or practice your dom play by tying them up. If you’re new to bondage/restraints, it’s best to start with comfort-fit toys, such as silk ties, padded cuffs, and binding that has size adjustable straps. If you’re uncomfortable, or your extremities start to change color, your restraints are most likely too tight.

    Paddling

    Spanking or paddling can help you and your partner awaken some of your most sensitive areas. When selecting your spanking weapon of choice, your options are limited to your imagination in addition to what you and your partner are comfortable with. Beginners usually opt for classic toys like wooden or leather paddles. Eventually you can move your way up to more advanced toys that provide a little more sting, such as riding crops and leather floggers.Just don’t make the mistake of limiting your play to your partner’s rear. According to the team at the Art of Submission, “the back of the thighs and the inner thighs are often very sensitive, so you can get some nice reactions from your submissive when striking these.” Keep them guessing by varying the location and the intensity.

    Blindfolding

    Blindfolding your partner can add a whole new level of excitement to your play. Guessing where your lips, toys, paddle, etc. will venture next will have them writhing in anticipation of your touch. She Knows notes that “a blindfold is also a highly effective method for banishing body shame and shyness.” If you’re feeling too bashful to get in the BDSM mood, try eliminating the visual distractions. Get lost in the moment and focus on what you feel, instead of what you see.

    Sexy Extras

    For many kinksters, a Wartenberg wheel has become an increasingly popular addition to their toy collection. It was originally designed as a medical device to test nerve reaction and sensitivity, but it can also be used as a stimulating way to tickle your lover’s skin. Additionally, you can experiment with collars and leashes, or even nipple clamps for added excitement. Once you get into the spirit of BDSM, your options for play are truly endless.

    Just remember: you should never do anything that makes you or your partner uncomfortable. Aways have a safe word, and be sure to have established boundaries in place before getting started. Communicate, communicate, communicate about what you want to do (and not do) before embarking on a new activity. BDSM can be an amazing journey into emotional intimacy if you and your partner are open about sharing your experiences together.

    Who knows, you may learn that your sex life isn’t so “routine” after all.

     

    my37j

     


  8. 5 Reasons Pornstars Hate 50 Shades of Grey

    February 28, 2015 by Nikki Blue

    Not long ago, these pornstars explained Net Neutrality in a way that made me love the art that is porn even more. And it had nothing to do with the cheesy bow-chicka-bow-wow music playing in the background. Not entirely. Seriously, though. Who doesn’t love 70s porn music?

    Anyway, the three beauties, with all of their awesomeness, are at it again with 5 Reasons Pornstars Hate 50 Shades of Grey, and it’s spot on.

     


  9. Dave Barry Reviews FSOG

    February 12, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Man Reading on Toilet 2

    A friend of mine shared an article that Dave Barry wrote for the New York Times last March, reviewing Fifty Shades of Grey. Barry explains that he wanted to read the book, because…

    “…as a man with decades of experience in the field of not knowing what the hell women are thinking, I was hoping this book would give me some answers. Because a lot of women LOVED this book. And they didn’t just read it; they responded to it by developing erotic feelings—feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands.”

    Read the entire article HERE.

    Barry offers his review of the book, and it’s not favorable.

    “This is the kind of a book where, instead of saying things, characters muse them, and they are somehow able to muse them matter-of-factly. And these matter-of-fact musings cause other characters’ brows—which of course were already knitted—to knit stillfurther. The book is over five hundred pages long and the whole thing is written like that. If Jane Austen (another bestselling female British author) came back to life and read this book, she would kill herself.”

    He’s very funny about not liking the book (which one would expect from Dave Barry), but what I appreciated most about his article was that he brought up two interesting points. The first being that what women consider erotica (he used the word ‘porn’) is not what men expect from porn. I’ve been saying this to my sir whenever he edits one of my stories. His complaint is that the plot interferes with the fucking. I point out that it’s because he’s a man, and if I wrote a story for him it would be 95% sex and 1% dialogue. Thank you, Mr. Barry, for supporting my point.

    The best part of Barry’s essay, in my opinion, is his conclusion about why women loved FSoG.

    “Why was this book so incredibly popular? When so many women get so emotionally involved in a badly written, comically unrealistic porno yarn, what does this tell us? That women are basically insane? Yes.

    I mean no! No. Of course it does not tell us that. What it tells us is this: Women are interested in sex.”

    HOLD THE PHONE, people. Women are interested in sex??

    And here comes my favorite of this article, he explains that many men grow up being taught that women don’t want sex as much as men. Shocker, I know. That’s one of the themes of our little ‘ol blog, right here. I mean, that’s exactly why we started writing about our sexual adventures. We, the women of Vagina Antics, wanted sex as much as men wanted sex. Not our husbands. Obviously. But like other men who wanted sex.

    So despite my general disdain for FSoG (for poor craftsmanship on the author’s part), Barry’s article made me resent it less. If men can interpret it to mean that women like sex, then sally forth, gentlemen! Just be polite about it.

    ~Heather


  10. Kinklectic Blog Hop – Cupid did me right/wrong?

    February 9, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Cupid's-Secret---ANGEL-4g
    I have to confess, I’m not a fan of Cupid or Valentine’s Day. Apart from the chocolate. But then, I think every day should have chocolate. It’s my aversion to the romantic holiday that made it so much fun to write the short story for Kinklectic’s new anthology, Cupid’s Secrets. Thirteen Cupid-related stories by thirteen, very talented authors, and you can get it for $0.99 on Amazon HERE.

    To celebrate this auspicious release, I’m hosting a one-day blog hop to highlight Cupid and our latest release, Cupid’s Secrets. Our theme is: Cupid did me right or Cupid did me wrong. Tell us about your exploits with Cupid!

    TELL US!

    Post your experience on your blog (or comment here), and then enter the url in the link below. Don’t forget to let all your followers know where they can find more Cupid’s Secrets and some of the authors’ secrets too.

    My Cupid anecdotes are two-fold: one in real life and the other in my Cupid’s Secrets character, Soledad the librarian. First up is my real life tangle with Cupid and his tricksy arrows of love.

    Two years ago, I hosted a poly dinner party for my partners and their partners. That’s right. I invited my two boyfriends (and his wife), my girlfriend (and her boyfriend and his other girlfriend), and a Man of Interest, now known as my Sir. Confused? Yeah, join the club. You can read about the experience here: You Think The Story’s Over. Looking back at that dinner party, Dr. Hammer was the only person at that table that I hadn’t slept with. In fact, that party was only the second time we had met, but the emails and texts we had traded were already sparking what was going to evolve into a full-blown, collared, D/s relationship.

    I imagine Cupid perched on my buffet, invisible to me and laughing about the arrow he was about to sling. I thought I had it all figured out that night, and meanwhile, he was plotting for me to fall head-over-heels for the man I knew the least at that table. Flash forward seven months, give or take, and only Dr. Hammer, my dear Sir, would remain at that table. Little did I know that the title of that blog post would ring truer than I ever imagined.

    You won that round, Cupid. And I’m really glad you did.

    My character, Soledad, in I Hate You, Cupid also has her issues with Love. It’s Valentine’s Day and Soledad, a librarian with a secret past, is trying to summon the courage to tell her vampire best friend that she has a crush. Cupid visits Soledad and makes a dangerous proposition, offering her an arrow of love if she aids him. Will Soledad help Cupid and win the heart of her favorite vampire?

    Here’s a snippet:

    “You’re not going to need the gun, Soledad,” the cherub said and relaxed into the chair.

    “That’s for me to decide.”

    Working with goblins and demons made me more likely to shoot first and ask questions later. I shifted my stance so that I stood solidly on both feet. If I was going to shoot him, I wanted it to count.

    “I’m here to make your love fantasies come true. Shooting me would be premature, not to mention the fact that it won’t kill me.” He batted his eyes, the thick lashes making it look like he wore eyeliner.

    The word ‘love’ rippled through me, making the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I sank back into my desk chair, the leather creaking beneath me. I was dealing with someone far above my pay grade.

    “True. Silver bullets won’t kill Love, but I bet they’ll sting like a motherfucker. How long does it take to grow back a wing?” I asked, batting my eyes in return.

    He gave me a petulant frown. “How am I supposed to help you fall in love if you insist on maiming me? I’m a god, you know, and irritating a god doesn’t usually go well for paranormals. Even those pretending to be mostly human.”

    His shirt gaped to reveal the smooth chest of an adolescent as he reached behind his ear for an unfiltered cigarette. He lit it before I could protest, flicking the gold zippo shut with a sharp, metallic click.

    “Who says that I need help with love?” I asked.

    The cherub took a long look at me, his eyes traveling from the top of my head to my heels. “One doesn’t need to be the god of love to see that you’re in desperate need,” he replied, tossing his hair back with a practiced shrug. “I’m going to offer you an epic deal, although I’m not the altruistic sort. I need to use your magic and your special authorized library access.”

     

    Buy Cupid’s Secrets to find out what Soledad decides, and for only $.99 (free if you have KU), you can have twelve more romantic, erotic, sexy, fun stories full of Valentine’s Day love and Cupid antics. Be sure to check out our other Cupid’s Secrets authors and their exploits with the feathery cherub!