It’s not often I stumble across writing that blows my panties off. Metaphorically speaking, of course. But when I read Josef Abrams On Pegging on FetLife, I may or may not have jumped up and down shouting FUCKING NAILED IT! Okay, fine, so I did. And HE did. It is by far the best piece I’ve read on pegging from the male perspective. So read, enjoy, and talk amongst yourselves. <snort> I kid! Leave comments; juicy ones.
On Pegging / Josef Abrams
re-posted with permission
This is not about me submitting. This is not about being dominated. This is all about me getting fucked. If you get off on the control aspect, the power exchange aspect, or the role reversal aspect, great. Get off on whatever gets you off. For me, this is about getting fucked, in the ass, by a woman, that I find sexy, attractive, and deserving enough to share this with. Make no mistake – this is about me.
If you spend more than a few minutes looking for pegging porn online you will typically find men in submissive postures, Fem Dom porn, huge strap-ons, and lots of humiliation. That’s not the way it has to be. That’s not the way I enjoy pegging for pegging’s sake. If, huge if, we are in a D/s relationship and you decide that it’s time to make me grovel on my knees and destroy me with a horse cock strap on, well I don’t have much say. The act, for me, is then submission, not pegging.
Generally I prefer some amount of role reversal, but I like extra kink on everything: a tight cock ring, rough sex, name-calling, hair pulling, face slapping, spitting, and degradation. I want to get fucked. Don’t get me wrong, there might be a time where I’d enjoy some gentle bend over boyfriend lovemaking, but in general I want to get fucked porn star style.
Unless it’s in a D/s aspect I need some notice. I like to get cleaned up. I like to rub one out a few hours before. Trust me, I need to, or I’m not going to last and I want to last. That want to last is going to be the only reason I might want my hands bound or a gates of hell on my cock. I don’t want to cum too soon and once I’m in the “I love getting fucked like this” headspace, a gust of wind is all it would take to set me off.
Now, when I say I want to be fucked I mean it just like that. I want to get fucked just like any girl on the planet wants to get fucked. I want foreplay, I want reciprocating oral, I want you to pay attention to me, and focus on giving me pleasure.
Your strap-on and harness is going to matter. I said “I want you to fuck me.” I didn’t say “I want you to use this toy on me.” I can do that myself. Your harness should be comfortable for you and hold your strap on in place firmly so that there isn’t a need for constant readjustment. Your strap-on doesn’t need to be Jon Holmes sized. Most are going to be uncomfortable at that girth. Remember most commercial strap-ons are made with the idea women will be receiving them and come in a very thick diameter. Sadly, I’m an amateur. I don’t take anything in my ass near enough accommodate the massive cocks. Length is where it is. It needs to be long enough to hit my prostate. The bigger the head, the better. That’s more surface area stimulating my prostate. I don’t mean 13.5 inches long and skinny. You bottoming out in my colon does nothing for me but, make me clench up and focus more on the pain then the potential pleasure. I understand this is all subjective to the receiver and what they can accommodate but, this is my perspective.
Make me comfortable. Make out with me. Hot, passionate kissing. Grab my cock, jerk me off a little. When was the last time you tried anal sex when you weren’t turned on and relaxed. As much as I enjoy pegging I still get nervous about it. Once you are fucking me it’s not all about fucking my ass. I have abs, pecs, nipples, arms, a cock, a mouth, and a brain that all need to be stimulated. Don’t let me touch myself for more than a few seconds at a time until we both decide I want to cum. It will be hard for me not to but, help me. If I we talk about pegging what I’m asking you to do it to fuck me the way you want to get fucked and when you want to get fucked isn’t it about your pleasure more than mine?
Position is something else of an inaccuracy portrayed in porn. The curve of a normal strap on is going to miss my prostate just like the curve of a normal cock is going to miss your g spot in many positions. I’m not saying that doggy style isn’t going to be fun but, it’s not going to provide the most prostate stimulation that missionary or “cowboy” (in this case) would provide. Remember then main stimuli here is your cock directly stimulating my prostate. A curved “realistic” strap on will be better suited from on top and flat back positions. The straighter the strap-on the better it will be for all positions.
When talking dirty forget for a second that your cock is rubber. Saying things like “I wish I could feel you.” or “I wish I could cum all over you.” are going to be mood breakers. Indulge the fantasy. Your cock is the most real thing in the world at this point for me. Own that. Trust me, at this point I wish you could fill me with your cum or let loose in my face. Remember I want to be your porn star whore right now.
Like with any sex act I want us both to enjoy ourselves, I want passion, I want an amazing orgasm, and for this one act I want it to be about me.
Yes, I’ve felt this way, and experienced it just a few times (can’t anymore due to medical issues). If anal can be great for a woman, why not for a man? Lots of nerve endings. Not that much difference; a prostate only helps, obviously. There’s also the great feeling of intimacy–and contact, at great depth, as comfort or discomfort allow. The forbiddenness, and the uncommonness, of the thing contribute. Thanks, Josef; thanks for sharing this, Nikki.
Thanks for commenting, M. I think the biggest obstacle standing between men and pleasurable pegging is the label so many affix to it. It’s like Josef pointed out. Sometimes not about submission or being dominated; it’s about getting fucked in a way you enjoy.
Uh..”gulp”…I’m just not ready to go there yet. “Check please!’
Haha, Dale!
*GIVES A STANDING OVATION* Fucking. Spot. On.
Thanks for sharing this, Nikki!
You’re welcome, sugar! I was so thrilled when I found it.
I never understood how pegging someone could be a dominant act. Pegging, like fucking, is for getting the other person off!
In the end, yes, the goal is to get the bottom off. But as with most things, it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. For some it’s about the power exchange, the psychological aspects of dominance and submission. For those not into BDSM– ever or in the moment –it’s about getting fucked.