Ask Heather: Where Are Anal-Loving Ladies?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I have a question for you that I don’t quite know how to ask, so I will be as polite as I can.

You are a rare treasure of a woman, and as a man that loves anal sex I have been hard pressed to find a woman that even remotely enjoys it. It’s usually seen as taboo, or nasty even though I know all of the ways to keep it sanitary. So here is my question. Are women who enjoy anal really so elusive, or am I not looking in the right places? I admit, even men’s gully holes are starting to look good to me at this point.

~Dark Passenger


Dear Dark Passenger:

Thank you very much for the politely worded question and the compliment. I appreciate both. Now let’s talk anal sex.

Finding a person who shares your fantasies or kinks can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack sometimes. And I’ve never understood why people place anal sex in the taboo category or see it as scandalous. In my eyes, anal sex is a part of regular, vanilla sex. CRAZY, I know. There are other women out there who feel the same <points at Nikki> and it will take patience to find them. But I know that they’re out there. I’m absolutely positively sure that they exist. Wearing a scarlet ‘AS’ on our shirts would be helpful, I know, but since many of us are undercover taking-it-in-the-ass lovers, patience is more practical. Keep the faith, Dark Passenger!

Have you tried looking at a fetish site? Anal play is popular with many kinksters. In fact, there are anal groups that you can join to discuss your mutual adoration of ass play. But even more important than zeroing in on a certain website or concentrating all your focus on a woman who loves anal sex, I think it’s most important to find someone willing to explore it. Sometimes all it takes is someone willing to try something new or explore a concept again with a new partner. I’m speaking from first hand experience, because I didn’t always love anal.

In college my first anal sex experience was super hot. It was like discovering a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow–unicorns and glitter abound! But many of the men I later dated didn’t even broach the subject of anal. Eventually I married, and I entered a nine-year anal sex dry spell. My ex-husband proclaimed that as far as he was concerned, I didn’t possess an asshole and he thought it was disgusting to even contemplate touching a sphincter during sex. So like I said, I went a looooooong time without anal sex. After my divorce, when I re-entered the dating world, anal sex became a hot topic again especially when I began dating kinky people. The challenge was that for a variety of reasons, anal sex had become painful for me.

This is the part where I think finding a willing woman can be as great as finding one that is an anal whore (and I mean that as a huge compliment) right out of the box. When I started dating the man who is now my Dominant and master, I realized that if I wanted to please him in all the ways that I could, I would have to find a way to enjoy anal sex again. Sure, I could bite my tongue and take it up the ass like a good girl, but as much as sir enjoys anal sex, I knew I’d be having it a lot. Luckily for both of us, my soulmateclone Nikki Blue published a fantastic guide to anal sex and I started doing my homework.

I learned a lot from Nikki’s guide, and sir and I have tried anal sex in different positions, with different lubes and under all sorts of conditions. Stairs are tricky. *cough* I’ve had some amazing anal sex again, but the biggest lesson I learned was that having a willing partner to explore new sexual territory is the most important component. Because as much as you think you know about a sexual topic, you could probably learn more. At least, that’s how it was in my case. All I needed was a little direction and a gentle push from sir. <snort> I’m totally restraining the cock jokes here. ANYWAY…

It takes patience to find a willing partner, and then more patience as you explore anal sex together. Guides like Nikki’s Fundamentals of Fabulous Anal Sex are very helpful, and if you can show your partner that you’re willing to take it slow and that you’re focused on her enjoying the experience as much as you do, then I predict many pleasure filled times ahead of you. Don’t lose hope, Dark Passenger. We anal sex loving girls are out there. Keep in mind that sometimes we don’t realize how great it can be, but we’re willing to try if you are.

Here’s a song to illustrate what I mean.




3 responses to “Ask Heather: Where Are Anal-Loving Ladies?”

  1. Lola says:

    I love it, once I’ve eased into it.

  2. Kami says:

    Cum on over to my place ;).

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