RSS Feed
  1. Do’s and Don’ts of Unicorn Hunting

    July 25, 2015 by Nikki Blue


    I’ve done my share of unicorn hunting and believe me when I say that searching for that perfect fit for your threesome is exhausting. And it’s frustrating as hell. The countless hours I’ve spent courting prospective playmates only to have them flake out when our date drew near is time I’ll never get back. Most weren’t even unicorns at all, it turned out. Instead, they were attention seekers with no intention of following through with their juicy promises. They were all bark and no bite, which is a terrible shame because I like biting, a lot.

    Anyway, now that my FetLife profile no longer says that I’m in a relationship, it seems the tables have turned the hunter into the hunted. I’m not cool with this, and I can assure you, my kinky friends, that I am no unicorn. And I’m fairly certain that the reason behind my aversion to being the plus one between the sheets is my need for a significant amount of control, or it’s that whole topping from the bottom thing. That, though, is a can of worms I’ll save for later.

    So, if you are considering a unicorn quest of your own, here are my top tips to start you off on the right foot:

    Choose the appropriate site – Don’t assume that every unattached woman on FetLife is open to being the delicious center of your naked sandwich–it’s offensive. Joining a site like Swing Life Style will exponentially improve your odds of a successful search.

    Read the profile – Regardless of whether the unicorn of your naughty dreams is listed on FetLife or Swing Life, don’t skim over her profile. Read. Every. Fucking. Word. Look for consent that she is open to receiving such an invitation. If it specifically states at the top of her profile in italics that she is not looking for a Dom, a sub, or a play partner, don’t ignore her statement and message her anyway certain that you will be the one to change her mind. *eye roll*

    Don’t copy/paste – Look, people aren’t stupid and most can tell a copy/paste message from the get-go. Unicorns know how bait-casting works, but even though she’s not the only one you’re fishing for, you need to make her feel as though she is.

    Prepare for rejection – It happens, and in this case, silence speaks volumes. If days pass and she hasn’t replied to your message, she’s not going to, so don’t send another asking if she’s given any thought to a sweaty meeting. Don’t ask for her email, her phone number, and for fucks sake, don’t tell her how sexy she is with a lengthy mmmmmm—that’s harassment, jerkface.

    Timing – Unicorns need time to prepare for a sexy romp with a couple–they need to feel safe knowing their limits will be respected. Don’t make plans to meet for an introductory drink with the assumption she will get naked with you an hour later. It rarely works that way.

    Most importantly, be respectful, be patient, and don’t be a douche. ~Nikki  


    Hello, it’s your friendly neighborhood unicorn here. Unlike Nikki, I’ve only been on the side of the hunted, and I prefer to keep it that way. Yup, I like complementing a couple as a willing third in the threesome. True, I was *this close* to being the filling of a man-meat sandwich, but that was unusual for me. I’m most comfortable in a supportive role to the main couple. And this brings me to my first piece of advice:

    There are Different Breeds of Unicorn – We all have our different definitions of the label ‘unicorn,’ which typically corresponds to the qualities one is hunting for. “I’m dreaming of a unicorn who is ____ and has _____ and who is totally into _____.” The trick is finding that unicorn who also desires the qualities that you possess. The mythical part of the equation is that the unicorn will always give/contribute to the threesome without asking for anything in return, like emotional or physical gratification. Sweeties, that is a myth. Unicorns want to get off too. The truth is that we come in all genders and sexual tastes, and guess what, we unicorns have our own personal preferences about who we cavort with. For example, I can’t unicorn with anyone without my Dominant’s permission, so even if I’m attracted to a couple and want to play, I have to clear it with my sir. If the couple isn’t cool with my protocols, the entire thing is a no-go. Sometimes you luck out and can find a tasty third to your twosome on a hookup site. Everything can look perfect, but understand that the unicorn may be scrutinizing you as much as you’re checking out them.

    Just Because You Found A Unicorn, It Doesn’t Mean They Have to Fuck You – Hey, Mr. Married Guy Who Wants a Chick to Seduce His Wife, I’m talking to you. And everyone else. But mostly to you. You may have a boatload of unspoken expectations regarding the unicorn you found, Mr. MGWWaCtSHW, but that doesn’t mean she has to comply with your irritating unspoken/sort of articulated plans for her and your wife. CONSENT is a huge, important part of unicorning. It’s an important facet of relationships in general, but in this specific scenario—and I can’t say this enough—unicorns don’t have to fuck you if they don’t want to. Even if I slept with you and your partner just last week, there is no written rule that says I have to do so again. And if you attempt to manipulate me into complying based on the fact that I ‘did it before,’ I will knee you in the balls on my way out of the door. No means no, and if it seems like I’m teetering on the edge of a rant, it’s because this has actually happened to me and it PISSES ME OFF.

    Communicate and Be Safe – Nikki referred to this earlier. If you’ve started a dialogue with a unicorn regarding the possibility of a threesome, be clear about your expectations and what you want from the encounter. Everyone should discuss their limits, the things that are OK to do and those that are out of bounds. It’s really important for unicorns, regardless of gender, to feel safe in a situation. They may be saying positive things leading up to the big night, but if for any reason they don’t feel safe or don’t want to continue, they should bail. (see #2) There are ways to do this politely, and the sooner you, the unicorn, know it’s not going to work, the faster you should notify the other party. But there is never any time when it’s acceptable to coerce or threaten someone into compliance.

    A Gentle Approach – Why do you think medieval literature insisted that only a virgin could lure a unicorn out of the woods? Because we are special! If you go clomping through the forest with your armor, a pack of dogs, and 30 knights from the round table, I can promise you that every unicorn within miles will be hiding from your loud ass. In other words, if you are a M/F couple looking for a F-unicorn, for the love of all that’s holy, DO NOT have the M of your couple approach the F-unicorn first. Even dudes with the best of intentions come off as sleazeballs. And your message shouldn’t be titled: “I’m looking for a playmate for my wife.” Bring your computer over here, because I’m gonna barf on it. Your rates of success will increase if the female part of your couple reaches out to the female unicorn first. Even if the woman doesn’t really know what she wants, or if it’s her first time with another woman, her saying exactly that will be better received than a man reporting it second-hand.

    Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out Like You Thought They Would – Oh group sex… you are such a wily and capricious activity. The more people you add to a sexual situation, the more chances you have of things going differently than planned. Sometimes this is totally awesome. Other times, not so much. Just keep in mind that your “unicorn” is actually a human being of flesh and blood. They’re there to participate in your fun, but that’s no guarantee that everything will be rainbows and cupcakes. Sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. But if everyone communicates about what they want and how they want it, your rate of success will be even better

    Remember: be safe, communicate like crazy, and keep an open mind. Some day, your unicorn will come. Er, you’ll come with a unicorn. Wait… ~Heather

  2. Fifty Shades of NO: The Movie

    July 9, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at

    I watched Fifty Shades of Grey the other night. I haven’t read the books, mostly because of the lackluster (poorly written) excerpts I read online. Sir watched it last week, though, and his feedback surprised me. He said there was a D/s contract and negotiation, and even though I was openly incredulous, I knew I had to watch it for the sole purpose of being able to discuss it with him. Plus, sir said that Mr. Grey’s playroom was kickass, and I’m a sucker for a well-appointed dungeon. I settled into bed after my child fell asleep, and watched the movie with my phone in my hand, so I could text Nikki about all the failings of the movie and its portrayal of D/s.

    I discovered that Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie, is about a woman who doesn’t want to be a submissive. She wants a billionaire boyfriend that treats her to amazing, spectacular adventures like flights in a glider, a helicopter, and buys her fab things. She wants love and romance, to be courted and swept off her feet. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The crux of the problem is that the billionaire boyfriend is a dominant and a sadist, and what he wants is a submissive with a signed contract that commits to a D/s relationship, which doesn’t guarantee emotional intimacy. At least, not the kind of emotional intimacy that a more traditional dating relationship would entail. Christian Grey also has a tendency to creep, stalk, and lurk. Add to these conflicting, fundamental differences the fact that BOTH characters are positively shitty communicators, and you have the basic gist of this movie.

    But… but… Heather, you say, aren’t you always going on and on about the physical and emotional intimacy you enjoy through BDSM? How can Mr. Grey be anything but a cad and a blackguard for wanting Anastasia bound and naked yet not wanting to cuddle with her overnight?

    My perspective of this movie is from the viewpoint of a woman who signed a D/s contract without the promise of romance. I committed myself to a dominant without the knowledge that we would fall deeply in love and that our partnership would expand into “regular” life. What I desired most of all was a man that would hurt me in all the ways that I wanted, who would use me, control me, and degrade me in the most delicious ways I could imagine. I wanted bondage, and pain; an outlet for those nameless things that clamored inside me–I wanted to serve. And I knew that sir was a decent man, one who would keep me safe while I explored all the dark, twisting turns of my desires. I knew he would be a caretaker for me in those times of domination and submission, but in the beginning, I didn’t have aspirations that our D/s would follow a path to romance and courtship. I had no expectation that we would live together, that my submission would turn 24/7, or that we would continue together despite an overseas relocation and months of separation.

    So no, I don’t think Mr. Grey is fucked up for being a dominant or a sadist. He lacks the ability to communicate his feelings to the unwilling, yet grudgingly submitting Anastasia. He utters the words “due diligence” to her, yet they fail to do anything except some light bondage and fucking six-ways-to-Sunday in the playroom. That’s all well and good, but she needed to do actual research on D/s (it’s called Google, Anastasia). Contracts in D/s can be a big frickin’ deal, and even though they aren’t legally binding, I would never enter into one without a lot of thought and consideration beforehand. But that’s a rant for a different day.

    Where Mr. Grey did fuck up (besides the stalking, lurking, and non-consensual control) was that he didn’t say anything regarding the trauma of his past (talking to someone when they’re asleep doesn’t count), or how it’s possible to be a loving sadist/dominant. Probably because he’s completely unfamiliar with what a functioning relationship may feel like.

    With such fundamental differences between them, you know the movie isn’t going to end well. It really doesn’t. In fact, it’s the last twenty minutes of the movie that made me hate it. Because nothing infuriates me more than a play partner begging for a certain thing, hating it but not using their safewords, and then when it’s all over, shaming the other person for doing the exact thing that they requested earlier. This sort of interaction is precisely why BDSM gets a bad rep when our lifestyle is actually based upon a foundation of consent and trust. And the simple act of writing about it has pissed me off all over again.


    I need a glass of wine and funny cat videos to forget this clusterfuck of a movie.


    For an eloquent fact-checking article regarding the “kink” (yeah, I placed that in quotes) in FSoG, Nikki found a great article written by actual kinky folks who engage in actual Dominance/submission. Read it HERE.

    ~And since Heather watched the movie, sharing with me a bazillion texts regarding its ridiculousness as it unfolded, I’ve agreed to finally read the clusterfuck of a book. Oy.~ Nikki

  3. Online Dating: Finding What You Want

    July 6, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Online love button on the keyboard. Toned Image.

    When venturing into the world of dating, it seems like the activity can be broken down into two primary categories. You have your standard, traditional form of dating that can begin with something as simple as a casual coffee, then graduate to dinner, and possibly more. Then there is the more casual, dare we say recreational, style of dating–the hook-up. Both types of interactions offer aspects that might suit certain people and turn away others. Regardless of which you choose, there are some fundamental rules y’all should be following when looking for potential matches online.

    First and foremost:  READ THEIR DAMN PROFILE. Don’t skim it. Don’t just look at their photo on the profile and decide they’re the penis or pussy of your dreams. (By the way, don’t ever make a photo of your love log or love cave your profile pic–even if it’s your favorite part of your anatomy. Yes, we said ‘love log.’) Read every word they’ve written. Hopefully they’ve mentioned the qualities they’re looking for in a prospective date, one of which should be they type of relationship they’re looking for–something casual, long-term, or somewhere in between.

    Casual dating brings to mind non-commitment–a sense of freedom. You aren’t attached solely to one person, but instead can go as you please, meeting and dating as many people as you like. It’s this carefree, relaxed nature that some individuals prefer. Furthermore the term “no strings attached” implies that sex is the main focus of the encounter. It’s a hobby to some, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as everyone is upfront and communicates their objectives. Finding singles who want no strings sex can prove as challenging as meeting the mate of your dreams, but for different reasons. In both instances you have to do some research on the person (it’s called Google, y’all) to ensure that you’re not dealing with a psychopath, and regardless of whether you want to see them again or not, play responsibly and ALWAYs practice safe sex.

    Secondly: Send a grammatically correct, interesting first message. It doesn’t have to be long, but you should comment or include a fact that you learned about them based on reading their entire profile. Even if it’s only to hook up for one night of wild monkey sex, make that first message count.

    Do THIS: “Dear Wild Monkey Sex Man: As it turns out, I happen to share your passion for bananas. I would love to talk to you about it sometime. Do you text? xxxx”

    DON’T do this: “How RU”

    And definitely don’t do this: “What’s up?”

    And really don’t do this: “Kneel before me and worship my ____!”

    Third: Be upfront about what you want in a relationship or in your sexual encounter. This circles back to our first topic. Throughout the search process, being honest about the type of person you’re searching for will save everyone time (and a massive headache) in the end. Even if your focus is sex, be open to discussing the characteristics that you want. Are you looking for a certain size? Height? Ability to enact all of the Kama Sutra? Talk about it or you’ll never have a chance at finding what you desire.

    What? You don’t want to talk about your expectations? While many find it difficult and embarrassing to discuss what they might like to try with a partner, it will be easier to bring up your wildest fantasies with someone who is a match for your experiences. You can both pitch ideas back and forth and find out more about yourself sexually and emotionally. You never know, you may discover a few things about yourself in the process.


  4. Ask Nikki: Will a vibrator help when there isn’t enough sex?

    June 19, 2015 by Nikki Blue


    Photo via Depositphotos

    Hey Nikki,

    My relationship is great. He is the sweetest and most loving man I’ve ever met. There’s just one problem. In my opinion there’s not enough sex happening. He’s the only man to ever make me orgasm. Hell, I’ve never even made myself orgasm. Sure, I’ve masturbated, but I always just get bored. I’ve often wondered if I should get a vibrator, but I don’t know the first thing about them. I understand that his sex drive is not as high as mine. I understand that we can’t be having sex all the time. So, my question is do you think getting a vibrator would help? If yes, there are so many kinds, where do I begin? I’d love to go out with my best gal pal and pick one out, but I don’t have any close female friends. Please help me.




    Oh, R. How I wish this was a conversation that we could have over a cup of coffee–half caff, almond milk latte with a shot of coconut–because heart-to-heart girlfriend chats are uber awesome.

    Falling in love with someone whose libido doesn’t run parallel to yours is fairly common, and that’s okay. I mean, variety is the spice of life, right? A varying sex drive doesn’t have to be a pothole on the road to happiness, because there are so many ways to satisfy yourself with or without your partner. All you need is a little open-mindedness and a whole lot of honest communication about your needs, and your partner’s needs.

    You’ve probably heard the saying “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.” Well, I agree with it, mostly, but let’s be honest, sometimes we just want the fucking destination. It doesn’t make us selfish or uncaring–it makes us human. And whether it’s with their penis, fingers, tongue, or a toy, a lot of men derive a great deal of pleasure simply from the act of pleasing their partner. An open line of communication is imperative. If you tell him I NEED MORE ORGASMS, I would be willing to bet he’ll be all over it. Heh. And a vibrator, I think, could definitely help bridge the gap between your libido and your partner’s. When you find the one that you’re comfortable with, you can bring yourself to orgasm alone or while your man watches you pleasure yourself, which is always incredibly hot. And he can please you with the toy even if he’s not in the mood for a full-on romp.

    There is a veritable smorgasbord of vibrators on the market, and it’s easy to succumb to over-information. There are bullets, finger massagers, G-spot vibrators, eggs, Rabbits, wands, vibrating cock rings and dildos, smoothies, anal/prostate, and many different styles of clitoral stimulators. See what I mean? Mind…blown.

    Before embarking on a quest for the perfect Battery Operated Boyfriend, I suggest you think about the stimulation your body responds to the best. Is it clitoral stimulation? Vaginal penetration? Both? If it’s clitoral, the vibrator world is your oyster, because anything that vibrates can be used to coax your love lava into flowing. Most vibrators have varying speeds of intensity, and some, like the Hitachi, shouldn’t be used too often, in my opinion. I’m a super-huge fan of this magical orgasm stick, but it only has two speeds:

    1. Holy Mary, Mother of God, and;
    2. The Clit Destroyer


    With that having been said, remember that our bodies tend to adjust to the stimulation we provide it, which can possibly make it more difficult to orgasm by manual stimulation. So if you notice reduced sensation after using a vibrator for an extended period of time, back off for a little while to let your body re-assimilate to the personal touch.

    The Rabbit is another one of my personal favorites because it provides wicked clitoral AND vaginal stimulation. The vibrating rabbit ears tease the clitoris toward orgasm while the gyrating shaft that is filled with rotating beads throw you screaming into oblivion. It’s SO dreamy. I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing, of course.

    Lubricant isn’t a must with a vibrator, but I do recommend it, especially if your love cave isn’t good and juicy before insertion. And like vibrators, there are a plethora of lubricants on the market to choose from. Except during anal play, you can rarely go wrong with a water based lubricant because it’s both body safe and toy friendly.

    If you have a reputable adult toy store near you, I highly suggest a field trip. And including your partner in the naughty shopping excursion will likely stiffen his manhandle. Look at the toys together, tell each other in explicit detail what you will do with it when you get home, or into the car. It’s like foreplay in public. Again, if you’re into that sort of thing.

    I would totally go with you if we were neighbors, because vibrator shopping with girlfriends is also super-fun.


  5. Spanking From A to Z: ‘C’ is for the C-word

    June 3, 2015 by Nikki Blue


    If you’ve read Vagina Antics, followed me on social media, or spoken with me in person, you are well aware of my filthy mouth. ‘Fuck’, in particular, is a word that flows freely from my lips. I don’t have an explanation for it, other than it just feels natural on my tongue, like my southern drawl and my obsession with donuts. ‘Pussy’ is another one of my favorites. Probably because it can be used in so many different ways. Heh. To most people, it probably seems as if my mouth has no limits (heh, again). Surprisingly, it does. And it begins with the letter ‘C’.

    The C-word is something I never particularly warmed to. I can’t say or type the word. Hell, just reading it makes me all prickly, even when it’s referring to a juicy love cave. On that note, please, for the love of God, stop writing “love cave.” I beg of you–STOP.

    I don’t know the reason that the C-word is a hard stop for me. I’ve thumbed through the traumatic experiences of my life and not once did I discover a moment to which the resistance can be attributed. It doesn’t sound sexy to me, or nice, for that matter. Maybe it’s my southern roots that prohibit me from embracing the C-word. Or maybe I’m just weird.

    The fact that I’ve written this Spanking A to Z blog challenge all ninja-like was no accident. I planned for breathing room to prepare my delicate-self from the C-word flood I know Heather will soon drown me with. As a matter of fact, she won’t even know the topic I’ve chosen until I’ve shared this document with her. And if I know her as well as I think I do, she’ll laugh hysterically while using the C-word as many times as aesthetically possible to drive me bat-shit crazy, because we are best friends for life, and that’s what besties do.

    ~This post is cunt-a-liscious! And has my (and my cunt’s) seal of approval. xoxox Heather~

    *groan* I hate her.


  6. It’s my birthday-want a present?

    May 24, 2015 by Heather Cole

    I’m a very lucky girl. First, I get to wake up here…


    …with my sir.

    Second, it’s my birthday today.


    If you’re my Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter, then you already know that our brunch celebration on Friday can only be described as true debauchery. And holy hell it was fun. Four hours of gourmet brunch and a never-ending supply of champagne ushered in my special day with a bang. Followed by a very long nap.

    This entire month has felt like a celebration. Being reunited with someone I love passionately and reawakening the kinky fires between us has been bliss. And spending time with sir has been my best present of all.

    Today, my actual birthday, has been made auspicious by some deep throating in the shower and a long spanking that has left my bottom burning. I feel impossibly happy and doted upon, and I’m soaking up every second to take home with me next week. And so, I wish to pass along some happiness to you.

    I’m writing a new shapeshifter erotic romance series called the Lakeview Wolves. Book 1: A Recipe for Trouble will be released next month.


    The first book is FREE if you sign up for my newsletter at Expect to receive one newsletter a month, on average, with sneak peeks of new chapters, the latest information on new releases, and giveaways. You will never be spammed.

    Here’s an excerpt from A Recipe for Trouble:

    She didn’t know what exactly made her think family, but that was the word that popped into her mind. Jennie put the truck into park and sat for a second observing the strangers. They were all tall, even the women, and attractive. Not stunning in a way that made people sit up and take notice, but they were wholesome-looking. Jennie shook her head. They didn’t seem like regular folks at all, but there was no specific quality that she could pinpoint exactly as to what made her think that.

    “Stop daydreaming, J, and be helpful,” she muttered to herself.

    Jennie patted her ponytail absentmindedly, knowing that there was no hope of salvaging her appearance. She hadn’t thought to double-check her reflection before leaving the shop. More than likely she had flour smudges on her nose or forehead, and dried muffin batter stuck to her skirt. Her t-shirt had the company logo on it, but it was faded from countless cycles through the laundry. She sighed as she looked down at her kitchen clogs. She was most definitely dressed for a behind-the-scenes day in the kitchen and not a meet-and-greet with handsome strangers.

    By now the tourists had noticed her and were waiting for her to approach. She waved as she got out of the truck, hopping a little to make sure that her skirt was in place and not stuck to the high seat. She wondered what they saw. A curvy girl who had perfected her craft with lots of taste-testing? Or a frumpy local who might be as lost as they were? Jennie shoved the thoughts from her head and smiled. Ultimately it didn’t matter, because she needed to be on her way, the sooner the better.

    “Do you folks need some help?” she asked and came to a halt outside their group. From a distance they looked fit and capable, and upon closer inspection, they were downright intimidating. Jennie pushed her shoulders back and smiled brightly. If they caused her any grief, she’d leave their asses stranded in the woods.


    Thanks to all our readers and fans for contributing to my amazing year here. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to connect with some of you beyond these pages, and your comments and interactions are some of the bright spots of each day. Vagina Antics readers are the BEST!

    Now from the look on sir’s face, I may be in store for another spanking. Pardon me while I continue to celebrate. *giggle*

  7. Mother’s Day and Mommy Issues

    May 10, 2015 by Nikki Blue


    It’s no secret I have mommy issues, and Mother’s Day stresses me out over the relationship I have with my mother. Trying to find an appropriate card makes my head hurt because they say way too much. She hasn’t been the best mother in the world, or my role model, or even my friend. And she didn’t show me how to be a strong woman either. I looked to my grandmothers and aunts for that inspiration.

    If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve probably read my status updates regarding my mother’s foray into online dating. Technical issues aside, she now considers herself an expert, offering unsolicited advice about my own dating life. Or lack thereof, I should say. She’s afraid I’m going to spend the rest of my life without a man to take care of me. What she doesn’t understand, even though I’ve told her numerous times, is that I don’t need—or want—a man to take care of me. I’ve got that. What I do want, eventually, is a supportive partner. It’s a concept she is unable to grasp.

    My mommy issues began long ago when she cheated on my father with a family friend. The scandalous affair ended publicly with law enforcement and a handwritten note in our mailbox containing a threat to rape “the green-eyed girl.” I was thirteen at the time.

    Her second husband, who was an alcoholic, chronic liar, and a compulsive gambler, was an even bigger gem than the spineless asshat who helped my mother blow my family apart.

    I’ve written a little about the strained relationship with my mother in BROKEN: A Memoir of Sorts, but it’s just the tip of one fucked up iceberg, really. Maybe one day I’ll reach the point where I’m ready to talk about how we went for months without speaking when I told her my husband-to-be was a black man, and how she didn’t come to my wedding or make any attempt at reconciliation until she found out I was pregnant with my daughter.

    Her idea of motherhood has been conditional, apparently.

    So Mother’s Day has been dicey for me for many years; many reasons, but today, I am able to look at my own children knowing that I am the best mother I can possibly be, that they look to me as a role model AND their friend. And I know without a doubt that I am the one who is teaching my daughter how to be a strong woman. For those reasons alone, it is definitely a happy Mother’s Day.

  8. A Little Help for My Friends–Golden Showers Edition

    May 5, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Legs and Heart

    Creating a BDSM scene takes creativity, communication, and cooperation. The submissive and Dominant work together to make an experience. The more complex the experience, the longer it takes to plan. This is one of the reasons I love having kinky friends, because when they have an idea that they need help transitioning from fantasy to reality, I like to help if I can. I’m a giver that way.

    I got a call from a friend who needed help with a scene with her male submissive. I had helped her before, and I admired her creativity and ingenuity. Her submissive was into degradation and humiliation, and he wanted more than anything to be pissed on by a female. My friend could have done it, but she knew she’d have her hands full (literally) with some cock and ball torture. There are times like these when Dominants could use an extra hand, and she wanted to know if I could donate… some pee.

    Urine is not a fetish of mine. In fact, I heartily object when sir wants to piss on me although I still submit to the treatment. In the scheme of things, I don’t find it arousing although the humiliation can be hot. Peeing on someone else, though, was a titillating idea for me. I’ve had many a kinky adventure with golden showers, and I jumped at the chance to try something new. Because really, who doesn’t want to pee on another willing human being for fun?

    At 9:00 a.m. I got the text that her submissive was amenable to her plan, and I immediately started pounding Mason jars full of water. My friend said that she wanted me “practically bursting” by the time I arrived, and even though my spirit was willing, my body had other ideas. My system figured we were doing some type of cleanse, and after the first couple quarts of water, I was in the bathroom. Which meant that I had to drink even more, so that I could pee on command for the guy. I tried to work, but instead I made one long, circuitous route from the kitchen to get water, upstairs to my office to drink it, and then to the bathroom. The entire time I asked myself, “can I hold it?” “How bad do I really have to pee?” “Do I think I have enough pee to provide a satisfying experience?”

    I arrived at the house at my allotted time (after downing another quart of water on the drive over) and opened the front door, knowing in advance that she would leave it unlocked for me. The sunken living room to my left was dominated by a wooden Saint Andrew’s Cross and a huge square frame that she used for tying up willing submissives. There was a tall, middle-aged man against the cross, naked, and stroking his very large cock. I had just enough time to murmur an appreciative hello before my friend waved me over.

    I barely had enough time to discard my purse before she had pulled a chair in front of the man and ordered me to strip. I did so as she scurried out of the room, only to return moments later with a large glass of water. I almost groaned out loud at the thought of drinking more, but she warned me that we wouldn’t start until all that water had disappeared down my throat.

    Sometimes it is so hard being a helpful submissive.

    I sat on the chair and opened my thighs wide, watching the naked man with greedy eyes. I quickly learned that I could masturbate and drink a glass of water at the same time. It’s slightly less difficult than patting my head while rubbing my stomach at the same time. The water was icy in contrast to the heat coming off my body. Every movement of his hand, from the base of his erection to the tip, made me think dirty thoughts about impaling myself. That wasn’t part of the game plan, so I concentrated on edging myself ever closer to orgasm. My legs started to tremble–I was so close. But my friend appeared with a Hitachi and motioned us upstairs. I was a little disappointed and tried not to pout. After all, this scene wasn’t about me getting off. It was about fulfilling the desires of another submissive.

    My friend expertly tied a long cotton shoestring around the man’s cock and balls, making his penis even larger than before, the color deepening into a dark red. We crowded into the bathroom, two naked people and one fully dressed, while she ran warm water in the shower to make it more comfortable for her submissive. She told him to lie on his back in the tub and instructed me to straddle him while I masturbated anally. Again, this was easier than patting my head while rubbing my stomach. I climbed into the tub and placed one foot on the soap holder so that he had a good view of my pussy and would be able to see my dildo move in and out of my anus. The entire time that it took for me to position myself, the sub rubbed his cock and ate up every inch of my body with his blue eyes.

    I felt the flutter of butterflies in my stomach as I stood over him, but I also experienced a rush of adrenaline. I knew in that moment that I was going to pee on that boy like a motherfucking champion urinator. (That’s totally a thing.) My friend crouched beside him and whispered filthy things in his ear as I let go of my golden stream. It splashed all over his genitals and against my legs. A small part of me had the instinctive reaction of “ew, gross!” A bigger part of me reveled in the sensations–the feeling of warm liquid trickling over my skin accompanied by the slight smell of ammonia in the air. Possessing control over myself, and to some degree, this other person was a big adrenaline rush. In that moment, his pleasure was mine to play with and do what I willed. I was grinning like a mad person, high on exhilaration and the dildo’s friction.

    The man groaned, and his pace quickened. I mirrored him, knowing that even if I didn’t orgasm, it felt too damn good to stop. I let out a gasp of surprise as the anal orgasm blew through me, and I grabbed on to the tiled wall for support. I collected myself as my friend and I both watched as he shouted and ejaculated on to his stomach a few moments later. We were a smiling, laughing, happy mess.

    My friend asked me later about the scene, and I was pleased to report that I had nothing but good things to say about my experience, even though I spent the rest of the evening peeing in the normal, boring bathroom kind of way. I’m looking forward to the next time she calls, because I do love helping my friends.

  9. Sexual Healing

    April 28, 2015 by Nikki Blue


    Photo via Depositphotos

    It’s been six months since I’ve had sex–SIX MONTHS. I haven’t gone that long between romps since my sexual escapades began at the tender age of fourteen. And I miss it terribly; the intense connection of it, the feeling I would burst into flames from the lightest touch. I miss feeling like the sexual being I know I am. The confidence of my sexual prowess is what I miss the most, I think. I haven’t felt that confidence in a while now. I know I haven’t lost it–it’s still there–it’s just gone dormant, waiting to wake again when the time is right.

    The dismantling of my sexual assuredness started with a bad haircut, and even though I’m dying to reference Samson & Delilah here, I’m not allowed. Heather has forbidden me to use any more metaphors until the end of forever, but whatever. I will say I felt as if my power had been stolen, and I was left looking like a poodle.

    Black Poodle on a white background

    Sexy, right?

    Okay, so a poodle is a bit of a stretch, but I did see the lead singer from the glam-rock band, Cinderella, when I looked in the mirror. But with less makeup and fewer sequins.

    The coiff-conundrum took weeks to grow out to a fixable stage, but even after giving her the opportunity to make it right, my stylist seemed to have forgotten how to cut my curls and again I was unhappy.

    During that time, my three year relationship with Mr. K blew apart, destroying what confidence I had left. I gathered what pieces I could and retreated, shutting the door to the outside world while I licked my wounds in private. I hardly left the house or answered the phone. I stopped writing for myself and I stopped masturbating–I stopped looking in the mirror. I threw myself into my career, working my ass off to prove that I’m dripping with awesomesauce–and I totally am–and I concentrated on being the worst mother I could possibly be. And it was enough…for awhile.

    But then I began to miss more than just sex–I missed desire. I missed the glow of sexual confidence that I’d had, and I knew it wasn’t going to magically reappear on its own. The power to rekindle it was in my hands, and mine alone, so I focused on myself, which is something I’d done little of in, like, ever. Heather has even suggested that I talk to a therapist about the traumatic experiences I’ve endured in my life.

    “Surviving isn’t the same as healing,” she said.

    I couldn’t see her face at that moment, but I’m fairly certain her brow was quirked. And she’s right–I do need to get my ass into therapy. It’s been a long time coming. It’s a step I haven’t taken yet, but I plan to.

    In the ‘Year of Nikki’ thus far, I’ve taken my health super-seriously for a change. I’m learning to treat my body with the respect it deserves, both inside and out. I’ve stopped eating my feelings, sugar, dairy, gluten, and processed foods. I feel better than I have in a long time. Heather has taught me how to meditate, which seems to clear my head and help me sleep better. I still have nights here and there where I lie awake offering to trade my soul for some shut-eye, but those nights are outweighed by the good now. And I found a new stylist who has made me love my hair in a way I never imagined. I’ve also started writing for myself again, which makes me bleed in the most beautiful way.

    In the past, I would have disconnected from my feelings and sought solace in one boozy sexual encounter after another, but that’s not healthy. I know that now, and that’s why I’m taking time out for me. I’ve faced my feelings instead of choking them down, allowing myself to cry more than I have since 1989. It’s totally not my badass style, but in the process I’ve grown; prioritized. Heather likes to say I’m like candy–hard on the outside with an ooey-gooey center. Whatever. I’m hard. Heh. Hard.

    I’m still not at a point where I’m ready to fuck again–or shave my legs–because I’m still healing. There’s no rush, unless you ask my mother. Anyway, when the day comes when I’m strong enough to make myself vulnerable again, I’ll have no doubts. But until then, I’ll continue to work on me; to grow, and to finally realize that I’m pretty fucking great.

  10. Want a SPRING FLING?

    April 18, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Spring Fling Collage

    In honor of spring and all the things associated with it:  new beginnings, taking a chance, indulging a whim, a fresh look, bees getting busy, hayfever, and most importantly, NEW LOVE, the Kinklectic gang has written and compiled another anthology. SPRING FLING is our most eclectic collection of stories yet.

    You can buy it here on Amazon for $.99 or FREE if you have KU!

    Today, Saturday April 4, we’re throwing a Spring Fling party on Facebook. Attendees will get a free copy in exchange for a review. The fun starts at 2:00 PST or 5:00 EST and goes for three hours. C’mon by and join the hijinks!


    Here’s a taste of what you’ll get in this springtime bundle:

    7 Fresh Stories from KINKLECTIC! Perhaps our most eclectic bundle yet…

    Every spring the Sultan of Saldyna opens the doors to his special menagerie for select guests, and this year, he invited the ambassador and his wife, Raya. Raya is surprised to learn that the sultan has a special request of her regarding a certain shapeshifter. And when Raya and the shapeshifter meet–sparks fly.

    SPRING RESORT by Jane Danger
    Still reeling from the very public demise of her last relationship, Willow is hard-pressed to get through a day without crying, let alone start looking for love again, but when a sexy new business acquaintance makes her an offer she can’t deny, what Willow thought was impossible suddenly becomes possible or so she thinks.

    Can paradise be just the thing she needs to begin anew or is she wading into dangerous territory by letting a wealthy banker tempt her heart and her body?

    2.0 by Troy King
    Katherine Zaya is beta testing a remarkable piece of software that’s about to get even more amazing with the upgrade to 2.0. Will she be able to retain herself when her mind becomes her ultimate playground?

    NIGHT NURSE: Spring Fling by Fallen Kittie
    Melanie, resumes her indulgent intimacies following her night shift. Clark incinerates her inhibitions; but this time around, flames also fly between best friends.

    SPRUNG by Audrey Lusk
    In a very near future of ultimate debt, some people still find a spot of brightness.

    SHIFTER – Grizzly PART 1 by Emerald Wright
    Cassidy is no longer an aspiring author. She hit the big-time, money-wise with her paranormal erotic romance shifter titles that are all the rage. She’s a success!

    With her finances secure, she is taking a break from the genre and revisiting a former dream of writing the great American novel. First, she needs to get her latest book completed and in the hands of her publisher, ASAP. There’s just one problem, she’s switched out the last three chapters and needs them to be edited. But her editor isn’t available. What’s an author to do?

    Help comes in the shape and form of Abe. New to town, a seasoned editor and ruggedly handsome, he’s not only willing to take on the editing job, he can do it fast. When they meet, the chemistry is instant and Abe is drawn to the curvy writer.

    Two best friends escape their college dorm and head to spring break for a week of debauchery in one of the most salacious places on earth, New Orleans, looking for both the ‘big’ and the ‘easy.’ One dark alley, a cowboy and an ex-pro NFL stepbrother takes center stage.

    Spring Fling