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  1. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: An Interview with Joan Price

    January 30, 2015 by Nikki Blue

    When we were asked if we would be interested in reading Joan Price‘s latest book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, HELL YES was our response. But because sex and aging is such an important topic to us, we didn’t just want to review the book, which is incredible- no, no -we wanted to interview Joan. Hey, it’s how we roll. So read, enjoy, and trust me when I say you need this book. Also, if you purchase a copy directly from her website, she’ll autograph it. How sweet is that? And if you haven’t already, please check out Joan’s blog, Naked at Our Age, where she’s talking about and celebrating the joys of senior sex.

    ~Nikki

    *************************

     Dear Joan,

    Before I begin my interview questions, I have to say THANK YOU. Your words helped me uncover a piece of myself and my expectations about sex as I grow older. It has been a very interesting couple of days as I read your guide and asked my partner questions about the topics that presented themselves.

    When I started your guide about sex and aging, I considered myself outside of your target audience. I’m in my early forties, so I was “safe” from those misconceptions and myths, right? Oh was I so, so wrong. As I began reading through the myths listed at the beginning of the guide, I felt uncomfortable, like I was poking a tender place that I hadn’t known existed.

    It turned out that sex and aging is actually an issue for me. I’m a sex blogger and erotica author. My sexuality and sex life get a spotlight on a regular basis, and the idea of aging, even though I know that everyone is doing it, worries me. I’m in my forties now, but what happens in my fifties and beyond?

    The idea for Vagina Antics was born in the demise of my marriage. I was almost 40 and about to embark on a new world of dating and sex. I begged Nikki to go on the sex blogging journey with me, because what set us apart was that we are older, single mothers, who had stretch marks and an unholy love of donuts. And we were going to do all this for the second time around, and it was all new again. That identity has become central to how I see myself. So now as my body changes, and boy howdy has it in some significant ways, I feel a fear for what’s to come. Well, I felt a fear but didn’t want to admit it until I read your book.

    (And now I’m laughing at myself)

    I read your guide in parts to my partner in bed. He seemed completely surprised that I was worried about getting older and what would happen to our sex life. We are kinky and live a BDSM lifestyle, and at one point in our discussion I exclaimed, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE. His reply was… of course it is. His solution was that we would buy even more lube and that we’d rule out the sexual positions that hurt our joints. Ah… the practicality of men. :-)

    I really can’t thank you enough for writing your guide and agreeing to be featured on Vagina Antics. You’ve opened up a new realm of discussion for us here on the blog and personally. So thank you again, and on with my questions. (apologies in advance for my rambling)

    Hugs!

    ~Heather

    Interview Questions:

    In the beginning of your Ultimate Guide to Sex Over Fifty, you list common myths and misconceptions about sex and aging. It was this quote that made me first sit up and really listen. “I used to think that if we all banded together and refuted the ick factor, we’d change society. We’d lead the parade of women and men proclaiming our right to joyful sex, and soon everyone would acknowledge that we can be sexy at any age. We’d celebrate aging, rather than bemoaning it.”

    1.  This was a huge revelation to me, because up until this point, I had refused to even consider (or envision) sex in my sixties and beyond. I was very unconscious about this decision, and your guide was a pleasant slap in the face that I needed to wake up and pay attention. (I’m the type of woman who enjoys that type of thing.) Anyway! *cough* How does one begin looking at age and sex differently and challenging the messages that society and the media give us? Obviously buying your guide is a great place to start. But how do you revise the vision, and empower yourself, for your sex life after 50? When did you do that for yourself? Or did you always know that you’d be sexually fulfilled no matter the age?

    We start by challenging the message from society and the media that sex is the domain of the young, that we’re weird or pathetic if we’re still sexually joyful after 60, 70, 80. We do that by talking out loud about it. I don’t mean that we have to disclose intimate details to the world – just that we stand up with the sex-positive attitude, “Hey, we don’t have an expiration date. We can enjoy sex through our whole lives. And so can you.” I’ve had interviewers tell me that they don’t like to picture their aging mothers/grandmothers as sexual beings. I say, “At what age do you plan to retire your genitals?”

    No, I never thought about older age sexuality when I was young. I actually never thought much about getting older at all!

    1. Myth #3 is “If I’m not feeling the drive to have sex anymore, it’s not worth the bother, so I might as well just let it go.”

     

    Hell, I know women in their thirties that say this. Our hormones change as we age, so how do you recommend that we manage those feelings of, “this is beyond my control and happens to all women/men at my age?”

    We can acknowledge that it happens, but as you read in The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, there are many ways to address the lack of drive. We may not feel the biological drive that we felt when our hormones raged, but that’s not the only reason to enjoy sex! It’s good for pleasure, for health, for intimacy, for stress relief, for a sense of wellbeing. It makes us feel good, makes us laugh, and helps us sleep better! The point is to learn ways to overcome the sexual inertia that we may feel when the drive slows down. We can make a commitment to nurturing our sexuality.

    3.  Myth #5 is “A man who can’t have a dependable erection cannot satisfy his partner or enjoy himself.

    Preach! I started hearing apologies about “lackluster” penis behavior from men in the 40’s, and instead of worrying about what we would do in the bedroom, I felt a deep compassion for what they had deemed shameful and embarrassing. You quote sex journalist Michael Castleman and define this as “erection dissatisfaction.” In fact, you devote an entire chapter to Sex Without Erections. This is a super-sensitive area of discussion for many men. What do you recommend as the best way to begin a dialogue with your partner regarding erection dissatisfaction? There are many other options besides erection pills. Would you talk more about that to our readers? (You wrote about using a strap on and I squealed with joy!)

    I’m delighted that I made you squeal for joy! Bringing up the topic is very hard for men. If we’re partnered with a man, we can ease into the conversation by letting him know that we understand that erections aren’t dependable at our age, and that’s really okay, because we can have great sensual and sexual pleasure with hands, mouths, and sex toys. Rather than introduce the anxiety over whether the erection will happen or stay hard long enough for penetration, let’s just have sex in all these other ways.

    If this is a new relationship, the penis owner may be especially anxious. It’s helpful to say while stroking his body (all over, not just genitals, but not excluding genitals either), “Are you enjoying the sensations from my touch? Then just relax and enjoy.” Welcome him to explore how to please you without an erect penis, too. The better you can communicate what you like, the more relaxed he’ll be.

    Of course there’s a lot more in the book about sex without erections – as you said, an entire chapter!

    4.  Sex and Safety – This is a HUGE hot button for me. It should be a hot button for everyone! One would assume that barrier sex would be assumed for all ages, but it’s not. You state some scary statistics that point to the opposite in your guide. Toys need to be safe too when using them with other people! What ways do you find it’s easiest to bring up protection when dating someone new? What are your guidelines regarding keeping toys safe?

    Bring it up after the first hot kisses and wandering hands, but before the clothes are off. Being direct is simplest, like, “Let’s talk about safer sex. I always use barrier protection.” If it’s clear that sex will be happening very soon, “Let me show you the condoms I have – do you have a favorite?”

    Toys that go into more than one orifice or into more than one person’s orifice need to wear condoms and the condoms need to be changed between orifices. Wearing the FC2 receptive condom (aka female condom) is another way to stay safe when using a toy (or a penis) with more than one vagina or anus at a time, without having to change the condoms, since there’s no exchange of fluids.  

     *************************

    Hi Joan!

    I’ll get straight to the nitty gritty.

    “As a woman nearly sixty, I can say with certainty that there are days when I feel like the “hot thang” who stopped traffic back in the day – other days I feel like the detour sign.”

    I’m knocking on the door of 45 and I can totally relate to that statement. It’s so easy to let that detour sign beat us down to where we are stuck in the rut of feeling far from the sexual being we once were.

    I recently read where Erica Jagger wrote that she requested an STD workup during her well-woman visit at her gynecologist. She was stunned, as were her readers, when her female doctor told her she wouldn’t need to worry about that for much longer because women usually stop having sex around the age of 65. Why do you think doctors discount or even disapprove of sexuality in aging women?

    I’m furious about Erica’s doctor’s comment. I have a whole chapter on doctors – why they’re uninformed, how to ask questions, how to get the information you need. Doctors not only don’t get the training in older-age sexuality, but they’re people, too, with their own misconceptions and prejudices. We have to let them know that yes, we are still sexual beings, and no, it’s not okay to dismiss us.

    And finally, I’m curious. When you speak at engagements, are there a large number of men in attendance? What is the most common question you’re asked by them?

    Oh yes, men want to learn. They want to understand their own changes and their partners’ changes. I’m asked about erections, desire, how to please a long-term partner when the sex has grown stale, whether they should be worried if a partner can’t orgasm without a vibrator, how to communicate, what new things they can try, when and how to bring up sex when dating – and so much more.

    As Heather said above, thank you for speaking out so passionately about such an important topic. I’ve often wondered how I will approach sexual issues as they arise in the future, and now I know.

    *boob smooshes*

    ~Nikki

     *************************

    Thank you both for treating this topic so seriously and for including your own personal reactions. I love that the conversation is now open!

    Joan

    Joan Price headshot Joan Price Sex After 50

    “Living ‘happily ever after’ may be the stuff of fairy tale endings, but in this forthright and important book, Joan Price shows us how ‘sexy ever after’ can be a new beginning for the senior set.” —Ian Kerner, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

    Available for purchase here: JoanPrice.com and Amazon


  2. Cover Reveal – I Hate You, Cupid

    January 26, 2015 by Heather Cole

     

    IHateYouCupid1-REV

    I’m thrilled to announce another Kinklectic anthology out in time for Valentine’s Day! This anthology, Cupid’s Secrets, features my short story, I Hate You, Cupid. 

    I Hate You, Cupid - It’s Valentine’s Day and Soledad, a librarian with a secret past, is trying to summon the courage to tell her vampire best friend that she has a crush. Cupid visits Soledad and makes a dangerous proposition, offering her an arrow of love if she aids him. Will Soledad help Cupid and win the heart of her favorite vampire?

    The first story of Annie and Soledad can be found in the Kinklectic anthology, Secret Lives, or on Heather Cole’s Amazon Author Page in Dangerous Seduction.

    Cupid’s Secrets anthology features twelve different authors and their eclectic stories with a Valentine’s Day theme. Look for it in February!

    ~Heather


  3. Female Ejaculation: It’s a Thing

    January 17, 2015 by Nikki Blue

    Wet woman face with water drop.

    When the study debunking female ejaculation rolled through my Facebook feed, I immediately disagreed. As a woman who has squirted a handful of times…heh, handful…get it? Anyway, there’s a distinct difference between peeing and having an orgasm. The only time I’ve ever screamed when I peed was many moons ago when I had a UTI, so that doesn’t count. Yes, there are times a little pee has escaped when the flood of a squirting orgasm rushed forth, but both Mr. K and myself have tasted it, smelled it, and can assure you it’s not pee.

    Hey Epiphora shared her thoughts on the topic of squirting orgasms on her blog and Team #NotPee inspired a flood (heh) of opinions on Twitter, all of which are pretty awesome.

    Also, stay the fuck out of our vagina’s, scientists.

    *Photo credit DepositPhotos.com


  4. We are still US

    January 11, 2015 by Heather Cole

    Closeup images of a woman taking a luggage in city.

    The weeks leading up to my trip overseas, where my sir now resided, were a whirlwind of activity. I was in a constant state of motion, cleaning up, cleaning out, and packing. But all the physical activity was a distraction to what I was feeling. I was out-of-my-body excited to see sir. We had been apart for four months, and although we connected via Skype every single day without fail, nothing could compensate for the lack of touch. His kisses, his hands on my body, the reassuring bulk of him next to me at night… I missed those things so much that I couldn’t even admit to myself how I ached to be with him.

    I was also feeling nervous. Not about the trip itself, but how we would reconnect in the flesh. And in my darker moments, I felt jealous. Jealous of a geographical location. Sir’s new city had him, and he was building a life that I could only learn about through my incessant questions during Skype. That city with its exotic customs and foreign life had consumed him almost completely. From my perspective, I was my boring old self in our boring old life that we used to share. My anecdotes from sex blogging and writing work seemed lame in comparison.

    When I stood beyond the gate in front of customs, I could only gaze at sir and smile. I told him he looked amazing, and I meant every syllable. I had to wait until we were alone in his apartment to feel his arms around me and the feeling of being held by him made me cry. Even though we both made a lot of effort to connect despite the geographical distance between us, nothing felt as exquisite as his physical embrace. It felt like I had journeyed all this way into the heart of a foreign land to finally be home. Home with him.

    The tears didn’t last long, though, and after he dried them, he gave me a quick tour which ended in the bedroom. He proceeded to claim me then, in every way possible. He filled my mouth, my pussy, and my asshole. His body dominated mine just as his will did. He smelled different, but his cock tasted and felt the same. I shed more joyful tears, mingled with the sounds of our bodies joining.

    That first day was divided into sleeping, eating, and fucking. During one of our awake times, he dug into his closet and pulled out the toys he had accrued for us. He had made a flogger from a discounted pair of nunchucks and paracord. There was a pingpong paddle, a foot long plastic shoehorn from Ikea that stung like a sonofabitch, a wooden spoon, a belt, and his favorite rattan cane. How he got that through customs, which was notorious for confiscating any items sexually related, was a mystery to me. Maybe they thought it was a camel stick? He’s going to take me to the Souk (the traditional market) and make me pick out my very own camel stick that won’t be used on any camels, only this girl’s backside.

    I fell into the familiar rituals of a spanking with wholehearted enthusiasm even as a part of me hesitated at the edge of giving myself completely. I felt like we had to be reacquainted in some ways, and I waited to see if I would find our D/s connection as strong as it once was. Now we were in his new life, a life that hadn’t made room for my physical presence yet. Everything about this world was foreign, and I worried that he would be too, or that perhaps, we wouldn’t share a love of the things we used to. Eventually I told my monkey mind to shut up, so I could be present. I trusted sir with my body and heart, and I had to trust that my unease would vanish the more time we spent with one another.

    Sir had me suck his cock while he hit me with his belt. The pleasure I took from sucking and running my tongue along his shaft was punctuated by the licks of pain from the leather. I gasped around him, trying to focus only on what I could control:  my mouth, tongue, and lips. Eventually he pulled me up beside him where I cuddled into his side. He stroked my cheek and looked intently at me.

    “Did you like it when I hit you?” he asked.

    “Yes, Daddy,” I replied with a small smile.

    “What kind of girl likes being hurt like that?”

    It was a question that he had asked me in various ways ever since the beginning of our relationship. And staring into his beautiful hazel eyes, the answer practically exploded out of me.

    “This girl loves when you hurt her, Daddy. It’s because of you that I love it so much. The pain goes hand in hand with trust, and it moves us beyond our defenses. Together.”

    Lust swept through me as my words unlocked the last gate around my heart. I wanted him all over again, and I wanted him to consume me. This was our connection in action. This is what kept me at his feet for the long months that we could only talk through our computers. The fire that blazed beneath my skin was lust for this man, love, and a trust so deep that I couldn’t feel whole without it.

    I kissed him hard and pressed my body along the length of his. He pushed me gently back and thrust his fingers between my legs. The orgasm hit me immediately, and I cried out as my fingernails dug into his arm. A second orgasm followed on the heels of the first, and I squirted on to the sheets. Daddy laughed with delight and fingerbanged me to a third orgasm.

    I couldn’t believe that I had squirted. It had been so long since I had done so, and when he asked me about it later, all I could think of was how strongly I felt about us. That was what inspired and reassured me. Despite all the time apart, our bond was still powerful, and we were still us.

     


  5. Get Your ARC Here!

    January 2, 2015 by Heather Cole

    woman reading 2

    Dear Readers,

    Nikki and I need your help. As you know, Vagina Antics is not a book blog. (Obviously. We have the word ‘vagina’ in our title.) We started Vagina Antics to talk positively about sex, and more specifically, our sexual adventures as divorced, kinky, forty-something women. We’re also authors, and we use this blog to occasionally promote our books. Like authors everywhere, we need readers to review our stuff and give us feedback.

    Would you be willing to sign up for our ARC (Advance Reader Copy) program?

    What is an ARC, you ask?

    “Usually, ARCs are provided to booksellers, librarians, and reviewers for books or magazines. In the last few years, though, publishing houses have made ARCs more available to book bloggers and other readers, in the hopes that they would turn to their blogs, Twitter, Tumblr, etc., to build that pivotal buzz. Publishers aren’t doing that out of the kindness of their hearts; ARCs are, above all, marketing tools used to sell more books.”

    Most importantly, it’s a way to get all of our upcoming releases (and former released titles) for FREE.

    There are a handful of steps:

    1. Sign up for our ARC email list: CLICK HERE
    2. Pick up copies of eBooks via InstaFreebie. (The link will be delivered directly to the email address you provided)
    3. Read and enjoy. (the best part!)
    4. If you enjoy the story, leave a review via Amazon and/or GoodReads (the fun part!)
    5. If you don’t enjoy it, that’s okay. We won’t get mad. Promise! Just email us and tell us why. Constructive feedback is the process that helps us grow as authors.
    6. Follow-up via a GoogleDoc’s template we have created that provides the weblink where your review is located. (This final step ensures that you remain on the ARC list) *If you opt to provide critical feedback, you don’t need to review and you will absolutely remain on our ARC list.

    Upcoming titles to be released include:

    • Kinklectic Valentine’s Day Anthology by various authors – It will include Heather’s second short story involving Annie, the vampire, and Soledad, the librarian. (tbr 2/14/2015)
    • Kinky Dating: How to Find the Kinky Love of Your Fantasies by Heather Cole and Nookie Notes (tbr 2/14/2015)
    • Aftermath by Nikki Blue – A twisted tale of revenge.
    • Control by Nikki Blue –  The second book in Nikki’s memoir series.
    • Confessions by Heather Cole – The second book in the Come for the World Series (tbr March 2015)
    • Absolved by Heather Cole – The third book in the Come for the World Series (tbr April 2015)
    • Naked Baking: The Best of Vagina Antics – by Heather Cole and Nikki Blue – to be released on World Baking Day, May 17, 2015. This book will include our most popular posts, new never-before-seen material and a baking photo shoot with the women of Vagina Antics. Yup, you’ll see us doing some of our favorite things. Um… baking-related things and probably booze. (Definitely booze ~Nikki)
    • The Dominatrix’s Apprentice by Heather Cole (tbr June 2014)
    • A Second Chance for Lady Grace by Heather Cole – This is a full-length historical romance.

     

    We hope you love our words as much as we do, and we look forward to seeing you on our list. Thank you for being the best readers ever!

    *boobsmoosh*

    ~Heather and Nikki

     


  6. We Say Goodbye to 2014

    January 1, 2015 by Heather Cole

    2015-2

    Happy New Year, y’all!

    I must confess that I’m not sorry AT ALL to usher 2014 out the damn door. Last year was a real bite in the ass for me in significant ways. The spring of 2014 brought my mama’s diagnosis of uterine cancer. Then in July, my daughter underwent successful open heart surgery. August was burned into my brain, because my sir left for a three-year work contract overseas. The three most important people to me all suffered. Hey, 2014, KISS MY ASS!

    The year wasn’t all bad, of course. I published three books, one of which went into an anthology with incredible authors, and I have even more expected to be published in 2015. Last year meant broadening my writing horizons and making new friendships in the blogging/author world. I also had some amazing sexual adventures with my sir before he left, and to my surprise and delight, those adventures didn’t cease when the geographical distance between us increased. Don’t worry. Y’all will hear all about them. Well, most of them. This girl does need her secrets.

    In case you missed them, here are three of my favorite posts of 2014:

    H is for How – A post written by my beloved sir in response to a reader’s question. I swoon all over again reading his words. *blissful sigh*

    She Stabbed Me, and I Bubbled - My first experience with needles. Reading this again makes me grin. It was SO MUCH FUN!

    Heather Orgasms in Public – I did! While hypnotized! In front of university students! (I’ll stop exclaiming now)

    Looking back at the year behind us, I’m able to see the growth and the gifts that arrived on the heels of heartache and worry. I was tested in ways that I couldn’t have foreseen, and I think I’m now in a better place than when the year began. Thank you, dear readers, for coming along for the ride. There are so many good things to come. Heh. Come…

    KISSES!

    ~Heather

    ***********************************

    All in all, 2014 was a stellar year for me in many ways. After four years of tears, edits, and rewrites, I finally published BROKEN: A Memoir of Sorts, my piece What Heteroflexible Means for Me was chosen by Jill of Naked All the Time as one of The Best Sex and Dating Posts of September 2014, I was featured as Kinkly’s Sex Blogger of the Month for December, and Vagina Antics was given a super-hot spot on the Top Sex Bloggers of 2014 list. All of it makes me ridiculously giddy, and none of it would have been possible without y’all. For that and all of your hugs and support, I am incredibly grateful.

    By the time the year ended, though, it was clear that moving forward, my life will travel a different path, but I’m not mad at it. No mud, no lotus, right?

    Aaaaaand moving on, here are my favorite posts from 2014:

    P is for Pro-Choice - My life, my body, and my right to choose.

    An Anal Heart-to-Heart – The day my daughter wanted to talk about anal sex.

    Bangin’ Basics: A Guide to Group Sex - Quick and dirty tips.

    So what’s coming in 2015? Heh. I am.

    *boobsmooshes*

    ~Nikki


  7. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

    December 31, 2014 by Nikki Blue

    Young woman runaway walks away road. Copy space

    Because of the way we sex bloggers write our titillating tales, it’s easy to think we have mind-blowing sex every single time we get naked. I wish that were true, but it’s not. We’re human and there are days we don’t feel sexy; times we can’t seem to get on the same page as our partners. There are also those unflattering moments when sex goes wrong, such as butt plugs that play hide-and-seek and accidental scat during anal play in the most awkward way. But fuck-ups are to be expected, right? Of course they are, and a lot of us write about the less than sexy blunders, using our platforms as a way to process and share. What happens, though, when our sex lives slow down or stall altogether?

    That’s what I’m in the throes of figuring out for myself.

    My relationship with Mr. K isn’t strong as it once was. In fact, we’re flailing wildly out of control. Murky waters have clogged our lines of communication, leaving us sexless and adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Will we survive the breakdown? That’s a question I can’t yet answer. Truthfully, I’m not certain of anything right now. I’ve often said I was his fantasy come to life and I was proud of it. In light of certain things, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what he fell in love with– the fantasy of me.

    I stumbled through the stages of grief as I watched the slow death of one of the most significant relationships of my life. I’ve cried until my face resembled something only my mother could love. Well, a face she would love if she wasn’t so superficial and shallow. *ahem* At this point, I’m all cried out.

    Eventually, I moved on to the vast land of denial where I lost patience along with my Best Girlfriend Ever crown. Let’s be realistic about that title for a moment here– it’s a super-tough title to maintain. Especially when disappointment knocked the breath out of me again and again, metaphorically speaking, of course. And each time he failed me, I trusted him less; raised my protective walls a little higher until I soon found myself on full guard and wicked pissed. I knew I wanted more; deserved better, so I opened the floodgates that once shielded Mr. K from my feelings. I’m pretty sure he’s drowned in them by now and I’m okay with that.

    The emotional bloodletting has left me drained, and because my feelings often taste like cupcakes, I’m also feeling a little fluffy. Honestly, some days I feel like a denim sausage. Others, I’ve resorted to wearing sweatpants, Ugg boots, and a messy bun. Oh, and a wifebeater with coffee stains, because nothing says “I’m fuckable” like food-covered clothing. But I’m not fuckable. I don’t look fuckable and I damn sure don’t feel fuckable. My sexual confidence that blossomed so beautifully as my marriage crumbled is now withered and in need of tending. Hell, other than to take the edge off so I can sleep every now and then, I hardly even have the desire to masturbate anymore, and that makes me so very sad.

    So…many…feels…

    The crux of it all is that I’m a sex blogger who’s not having sex, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with that. It’s kind of like an oxymoron, right? Or maybe even a little hypocritical? I don’t know, but it feels awfully weird. Then I have to wonder if I’m even allowed to call myself a sex blogger if my vagina has no antics to share. Heh. See what I did there? A big part of me is terrified of the changes I’m facing. Another part of me is a big believer that everything happens for a reason, like the bad haircut that’s forcing me to change my style. It’s true, y’all. The 80s will no longer rock on through my big hair, and yes, that made sense.

    I’ve done a lot of soul searching over the last three or so months, and there’s no denying there are some big changes over the horizon. Personally, I was so sure I’d found the second great love of my life, and now, well, I don’t trust him with my heart. Professionally, the thought of turning another corner scares the bejeezus out of me, but I know my purpose is there, waiting for me to ride it hard. And once my palms stop sweating, I’ll take a deep breath and step into the next chapter of my life filled with new projects, new experiences, new Vagina Antics.

    *Photo credit DepositPhotos.com


  8. Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2014

    December 22, 2014 by Heather Cole

    Top-Sex-Blogger-2014

    Every year those of us in the sex blogging community wait with joyful anticipation for Rori’s list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers over at Between My Sheets.  Making her list is the one of the best ways that we know to celebrate this holiday season. It’s a feather in our cap that our sex blogging contemporaries like us, and even more importantly, that our readers are enjoying our content as well. To our combined amazement (Nikki called me at 11:00 pm last night to tell me the news, and my first thought was that her vibrator had busted–you know, a real emergency) we not only made the list, but we scored in the top ten. Thank you from the bottom of our naughty, sexy hearts, Rori! We love all y’all. *boobsmoosh*

    Check out the other top contenders below, and see the full list at Between My Sheets:

    1. Girl on the Net
    2. JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead
    3. Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan, Oh Joy Sex Toy
    4. Nikki & Heather, Vagina Antics
    5. BD Swain, learning how to tell you
    6. Jillian Boyd, Lady Laid Bare
    7. Cheeky Minx, Love Hate Sex Cake
    8. Lilly, Dangerous Lilly
    9. Dr. NerdLove, Paging Dr. NerdLove
    10. Hyacinth Jones, A Dissolute Life Means

  9. Conversations From the Workplace

    December 20, 2014 by Heather Cole

    Pizza Delivery 2

    I worked with a woman who I would classify as a dominant personality. I had lots of evidence to support my determination as I observed her in action, her confidence skillfully overriding those more hesitant or reluctant. She classified herself as a dominant depending on the  situation, and when we worked together, that’s the side she chose to present most often. She was charming in her absolute certainty of action around the workplace, so you can imagine my delight when she shared her stories about being a submissive. The dichotomy between who she was professionally and who she played with in her personal life appeared to be polar opposites. The more time I spent in the kink community, however, the more I came to understand that these two sides often belonged to the same coin.

    I listened to her submissive tales with wide eyes, my jaw dropping when I saw the photos of the predicaments he placed her in, bound and immobile with her breath restricted. Her Dominant had a wide sadistic streak that made my toes curl with trepidation. My friend, though, embraced this in a way that made sparks fly and my panties drop. I might not have felt compelled to do some of the things they chose to experience, but I sure as fuck loved hearing about them. I was dying to hear about their latest visit together, of course, and this is what she told me.

    They decided to order pizza after work one night. She was at his place, and while they were waiting for the pie to be delivered, they began messing around in the bedroom. One thing led to another and she ended up naked and on all fours. He bound her in place and lowered a blindfold over her eyes.

    The doorbell rang.

    She said she waited, listening for his footsteps to enter the room again. It was quiet. Suddenly a cock pushed at her lips. She pulled back as much as she was able, still unable to see, and tried to make sense of what was happening. She tasted latex and knew there had to be a condom, but she didn’t see why he needed it.

    “I don’t understand,” she said.

    “Be quiet. Do what you’re told,” he replied.

    She did, and she did it willingly. She started fellating the cock, and after a few moments, a second man entered her from behind. She was spit-roasted, caught between her Dominant and a stranger, none of whom she could see. She said it was one of the most erotic things that had ever happened to her. Or maybe that was what was going through my head as I listened.

    The man using her mouth had an orgasm, and after he pulled out, she heard him say, “I have to finish delivering the pizzas.”

    As soon as she told me this, I burst into laughter. It turned out that the pizza delivery man was a college buddy of her Dominant. It was like a Penthouse Forum letter come to life. I have to confess that I felt a flash of envy. Delivery suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

    I wonder if he took that blowjob in lieu of a tip.

     


  10. The Ugly Truth of Slut-Shaming

    December 5, 2014 by Nikki Blue

    Portrait of Beautiful Touchy Woman

    Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

    My teen sat cross-legged on the center of the island while I made coffee a few days ago; masturbation and the importance of it was the topic of morning conversation. It was a successful chat that I’ll share another time, but the detour the talk took opened up a disturbing can of worms.

    “Guys don’t believe I’m a virgin,” she said.

    My immediate thought was aaaaand another generation takes the torch, but I wanted to know the reason behind their disbelief. Was she purposely leading them to think otherwise? Had something happened that she had not shared with me?

    I quirked an eyebrow. “Are you?”

    Really, Mom?”

    “I had to ask.”

    “Yes, I’m a virgin, but they don’t believe me because they say I’m too pretty to not be having sex.”

    The fuck?

    “To begin with, it’s none of their fucking business whether or not you’re a virgin. And second, they assume you’re having sex because you’re pretty?”

    “Yup.”

    “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And you realize that’s slut-shaming, right?”

    She nodded.

    Then it hit me- regardless of how a female behaves, dresses, or looks, she’s automatically a target for slut-shaming for simply being female, and this is unacceptable.