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Birthday Girl

June 12, 2016 by Heather Cole

This birthday girl loves cake!

This birthday girl loves cake!


Last month I had a birthday. Not a big milestone in the chronological sense, but a huge one in a personal sense. I’ve been slowly renovating my life with small improvements, baby steps if you will. It has been a slow change, and many times challenging (like in this post), but I’m so happy to be here.

To celebrate my birthday this year, I decided to focus on my body and celebrate this “earth suit” that I so often ignore or criticize. I don’t have a model-like bod. I have bulges, scars, and freckles in ridiculous places. This body, though, has treated me well.

I have relied on it to see me through dark times, as well as the joyful, and it has taken me to far away places to explore. Without my body, I wouldn’t have the daughter I have today. Nor would I be able to run on the trails I love or type out the stories in my head. Sir wouldn’t have a fine ass to spank, and my dungeon friends would miss their willing demo bottom.

I’m changing my relationship with my body to one of love and respect, but I still have to remind myself to say, “I love and deeply accept myself in this moment, exactly as I am.”

A very talented friend of mine, who is also a professional photographer, took photos of my birthday celebration with the help of his yummy assistant. He didn’t even mind when Catsquatch climbed into his tripod bag to shed white fur all over the black interior. I could have splurged on a new dress or shoes as a birthday present, or a well-deserved manicure. Instead I got mostly naked in my bedroom on a very hot day and asked my dear friends to snap photos.

I can’t say that I loved all the results. Not because of D’s skills with a lens but because of my struggle to accept that this is how I look. I have a tummy that sticks out and cellulite on my upper thighs. Do I want y’all to see that? Nope. *I* don’t want to see it either. But while I may see them as imperfections, I also acknowledge the strength there too. I love good food, and I love cooking. The evidence is in my tummy and my thighs. I could not eat and exercise every day and rid myself of those things, but I wouldn’t enjoy my life as much. Been there, done that, was miserable.


Birthday cupcake and a fine ass

Birthday cupcake and a fine ass

I’m in my early forties now, and I’m finished trying to meet other’s expectations (or what I perceive as their expectations). That goes for the unattainable cultural idea of beauty that’s splashed across our media too. I no longer wish to feel bad about myself for not measuring up. I’m pretty kickass just as I am, and I think you are too.

I want to celebrate now. Here. This moment today.

I will never be in this exact place again, and I want to remember this birthday celebration. Happy birthday to me!

Happy ____ day to YOU!

Let’s celebrate all our bodies!


  1. Marion says:

    Thank you for sharing your birthday post and pictures, which an amazing and hot. I completely understand what you mean, two days ago I had a boudoir photo session. While it was empowering and eye opening, I was also anxious about how my body looks. I’ve been on a self love/discovery mission for the past year. I’ve come so far but still have a ways to go. Cheers to your birthday and your body xox

    • Heather Cole says:

      A boudoir photo shoot?! That is so cool! I’m sure you looked sexy and beautiful. Just from what I see on social media, I think you’re an amazing person. So many hugs!

  2. Julie says:

    Wonderful post and something many of us, me included could have written. You have a wonderful body and I hope the cake was yummy!

  3. Casey McKay says:

    Happy belated birthday! I love the pictures and I think you are gorgeous. Of course, I thought that before I saw half naked pictures of you because you have a beautiful personality. I think we all need to be a little kinder to ourselves about our appearance, we only get one life and if you aren’t living it and being happy then what the hell are we all doing?

    I love this post and I think you’re awesome.

  4. Happy birthday! 🙂 Beautiful inside and out.

  5. LH says:

    As I mentioned to you on Instagram, these are gorgeous and tastefully done. The photographer was lucky to get to take pictures of such a beautiful subject. Love the curves. I have a smile a mile wide.

  6. Lola says:

    Happy Birthday! Beautiful pics!

  7. Rachel says:

    You look gorgeous! Happy Birthday to you!

  8. Jo says:

    That cupcake is far from being the most delicious-looking thing in these photos. Excellent birthday present to yourself; a very happy belated birthday to you!

  9. AW says:

    Looks like I’m a little late to the party but I wanted to be sure to add my voice to the chorus of praise.

    Perfection isn’t just unattainable, it’s overrated. To be perfect is to be perfectly boring. You want chiseled features, porcelain skin and perfect proportions? Buy a mannequin.

    It’s heartening to see that you are embracing your “flaws.” Women (and we men, too) suffer from unrealistic expectations and unfair demands imposed on us by a society that values Photoshopped perfection over authenticity. Your “bulges, scars, and freckles in ridiculous places” are marks of your individuality. They are what make you unique. They are to be adored and admired, celebrated and cherished. They are to be worn proudly as badges of honor, not covered up in shame.

    Maybe you don’t have “a model-like bod.” But, at least from the little I can glimpse in the photos above, you have something far better. A real body with real curves.

    But of course, there is much, much more to you than just a sexy figure. From reading your blog, it’s clear that you are a woman of remarkable depth, character, sensitivity and intelligence. (OK, so you never did answer the question I emailed you back in March. I certainly can’t hold that against you.)

    You seem to possess an inner beauty that will only burn brighter with each passing year.

    In short, you rock. Hope your birthday was a good one.

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