Alyssa Linn Palmer is an author and fellow contributor to FELT TIPS: the world’s first anthology devoted to office theme erotica. (To be released 12/12/12) As lovely in person (I have this on good authority, although I know her mainly through Twitter) as she is with words, Alyssa was gracious enough to write for us about losing her virginity. To a NORWEGIAN no less. In my mind he’s wearing a fisherman’s sweater and a jaunty red scarf. Hush, now… don’t ruin my daydream. Without further ramblings from moi, here is beautiful Alyssa…
Probably one of the most remarkable words I learned while traveling. Of course it’s sexual. Same with the delightful ‘bollemus’†. Can you guess where I learned them?
My first serious boyfriend was Norwegian. Not Norwegian-Canadian, but full proper Norwegian, living in Norway. You wouldn’t think that a girl would have to go so far to find someone, but there you have it. The selection of men (actually, boys–let’s be honest, at 18 years old, that’s what they were) that I knew held no attraction whatsoever: we had little to nothing in common, aside from our location.
B, as I’ll call him, in the interests of privacy, was everything that the local boys weren’t. Well-read, a writer (I still have a copy of one of his screenplays), well-spoken, slightly older (by a few years), and an obsessive fan of the same music I listened to. An excellent match. We talked online for hours, on the phone for hours more, and going to Norway to see him was the first big overseas trip I ever took.
It was also when I lost my virginity.
Trust me to only feel comfortable enough to have sex for the first time when I was halfway around the world from my parents. But I think I was really fortunate. It’s a time I remember with fondness and delight.
Not the entire evening; some of it is a blur, a haze of pleasure. It was overwhelming, but one of the best experiences of my life. The foreplay went on for some time before we even got into the bedroom. And the orgasm… that’s part of that haze of pleasure I mentioned.
I got lucky, but I had to go halfway round the world for that luck. I outgrew some of my shyness and became comfortable in my own skin. B was instrumental in expanding my horizons: pretty much anything I suggested he was up for. As Dan Savage says, an ideal partner should be GGG (‘good in bed,’ ‘giving equal time and equal pleasure,’ and ‘game for anything—within reason.’). B was GGG.
There were a lot of firsts that trip. It was my first time in a non-English speaking foreign country (though lots of Norwegians do speak English very well), my first overseas trip, my first serious partner, and my first experience with real intimacy.
There were those lazy mornings in bed. Being interrupted mid-playtime when his sister knocked on our door, wondering why we were still in bed at eleven o’clock. (Oops.) Going down to the corner grocery to pick up dinner and eating it while watching Lars von Trier’s ‘Riget’. Walking downtown to spend an hour in Platekompaniet, a well-stocked record shop. Seeing the Nasjonalgalleriet and the room full of Edvard Munch paintings. Strolling hand-in-hand down Karl Johans gate. Even more hours still drinking cider and eating Turkish food and having long, amazing conversations.
Thinking about all these firsts has made me nostalgic. Perhaps these experiences why I like older apartment blocks with flats that are a bit worn from the years. I know it’s why I still love the band Seigmen, Hal Hartley films (I especially recommend ‘Amateur’, about a nun who is a nymphomaniac!), and Freia melksjokolade (milk chocolate).
Being with B, and being physically and emotionally intimate… I was truly grown up. Our relationship changed me, and I can only think it was for the better.
Plus, I still remember a smattering of Norwegian. A few basics: ‘Un bilet, takk.’ (‘A ticket, thanks.’) ‘Tusen takk.’ (‘Thank you very much.’) ‘Godt Nytt år.’ (‘Happy new year.’) And my favourite: ‘Jeg elsker deg.’ (‘I love you.’)
* literally, ‘morning-wood’, or early morning erection.
† ‘bowl mouse’, or the shape of a woman’s mons.
Alyssa Linn Palmer is a Canadian writer and freelance editor. She splits her time between a full-time day job, and her part-time loves, writing and editing. Her novella PROHIBITED PASSION and short story BETTING THE FARM are available as ebooks. Her short story VEE will be available in the upcoming charity anthology FELT TIPS in December 2012. She’s currently working on two new projects, one of which is a novel set during the gangster heyday in Chicago in 1925. You can find her online at www.alyssalinnpalmer.com, or on Twitter @alyslinn.