Circumcised or Uncircumcised, that is the question… On ASK HEATHER

Friday, May 19, 2017


Dear Heather,

I had two questions for you:

  1. How important is circumcision status of sexual partners to you when choosing an erotic and enjoying (pleasurable/enjoyable) sexual relations?
  2. In your personal life, do you prefer men to have been circumcised?

Thanks for writing a great blog. I look forward to reading your reply.




Dear J.F.

Thanks for writing! Before I launched into my personal opinion, I decided to do some quick research on the internet about circumcision.

“Circumcision removes a substantial part of the penis, which is not just ‘a piece of skin.’ The foreskin is a specialized, retractable sleeve of erogenous tissue that protects the head of the penis, can be manipulated during sex and masturbation, and amounts to about 50 square centimeters in the adult male.”

To read the entire Huffington Post article by a Danish doctor in favor of leaving penises intact, click here.

“…circumcision rate in newborns has declined from 83 percent in the 1960s to 77 percent in 2010. (The overall rate among U.S. males age 14 to 59 is 81 percent, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

Additionally, the data suggests there is a racial disparity driven primarily by access to procedure and cultural and educational factors. Circumcision rates over the last decade reached 91 percent in white men, 76 percent in black men and only 44 percent in Hispanic men.”

To read the entire CBS News article promoting male circumcision, click here.

What I gleaned from an hour of perfunctory research on the internet was that there are supporters on both sides, the circumcised and the uncircumcised. There were doctors who claimed that circumcisions should be as accepted as vaccines for infants and others who claimed that those health benefits were overblown and that the procedure was painful and unnecessary. But none of that really answered my reader’s questions, now did it.

I’ve had sexual experiences with both types of penises, and honestly, I never formed a preference. When I lived in South America during my senior year of college, only one of the men I had slept with was circumcised. All of my college boyfriends in the US had been up until that point, even the African exchange student that I had deflowered. So I was surprised when I encountered my first uncircumcised penis but not alarmed. And after we began fucking, it didn’t seem to affect anything one way or another as far as my pleasure was concerned.

Flash forward to the years after my divorce, and I had serious relationships with two uncircumcised men. It was the first time I really took note of the joys of an intact penis. This probably was due to the fact that I was beginning to hit my stride with oral sex and blowjobs. I finally had gained an appreciation for how a penis tasted and felt in my mouth. It was also around this time that I realized that penises possessed their own unique scent as well.

I loved B very much. He cooked incredible Brazilian dishes, and he played with my toddler daughter in gleeful abandon. During our nights alone we drank caipirinhas and had sex all over the house. Before we got down and dirty, however, he would slip away to the bathroom for a quick penis cleanup. He was the first man to explain to me that he preferred to freshen up his uncircumcised penis before sex. I told him that it didn’t matter to me, but I respected that he felt more confident doing so. At any rate, my attraction to him and the pleasure I received/gave during sex never suffered for it.

The other uncircumcised boyfriend who happened after B was a different story. Generally speaking, his penis was large and he knew how to use it. I loved having sex with him. Blowjobs, not so much. My sensitive sense of smell did not jive with his penis scent. I didn’t know that there was anything he could have done to change it. It was biology or pheromones or whatever, and just like some guys didn’t cotton to some vaginas, the same thing happened with women and penises.

In my experience, being circumcised or uncircumcised didn’t impact my sexual experience significantly. The most important aspects of sex to me were the chemical, physical reaction between us and our sexual, energetic connection. Sight, taste, touch, and smell all fed into that. Looking back, I don’t know for certain that the funky penis smell had anything to do with being uncircumcised. The boyfriend in question and I had way bigger problems than that, and sometimes I think that our clash of biological differences was the first sign that we were incompatible. At any rate, the part most important thing to me was, and still is, the quality of man who’s connected to the penis, be it circumcised or uncircumcised.

I hope that satisfies your curiosity, J.F. Thanks again for your question!

*boob smoosh*


4 responses to “Circumcised or Uncircumcised, that is the question… On ASK HEATHER”

  1. Marmie says:

    I haven’t really noticed much difference in sex with men who are uncircumcised compared to circumcised. I have 2 partners who are uncircumcised. No difference in scent either. However one of my uncircumcised partners seems to have difficulty in getting condoms on over the extra skin. Unsure if there is any advice for that.

    • Heather Cole says:

      I would switch condom brands or go up in size to see if that made anything easier. I have issues getting condoms on (I’m not a smooth operator of prophylactics, generally speaking). Sometimes one brand is more ornery than another. 🙂

  2. cunnilingus master says:

    Heather, try putting it on like the Pros do. First prepare the condom: take it out of the wrapper and roll up any extra until it looks like a little rubber hat, or a baby bottle nipple if it has a reservoir tip. Place it discretely in your hand with the top up. Now prepare the subject’s part by giving him a sweet BJ until he is standing at full attention. On an upstroke hold the skin down snug at the base, then slip the condom into your mouth between you lips and teeth, and opening the teeth wide enough to admit the head, but not so wide the condom pops past your teeth into your mouth. In the same rhythm you had been using slide his member back into your mouth while pushing the rolled up part of the condom down the shaft to unroll it. If done with one fluid motion he likely won’t even you have covered him. If you haven’t yet mastered the art of suppressing your gag reflex, release the base, reach up and finish rolling it down. If you have saved some extra saliva, give him a good coat over the outside to assure he’s well lubed to start the main event. practice a few time on a banana or cucumber that is a suitable size stand in until it’s natural.

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