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Posts Tagged ‘soulmateclone’

  1. A Letter to my Soulmateclone

    December 31, 2012 by Heather Cole

    My dearest Soulmateclone:

    This New Year’s Eve (and a couple vodka tonics in) I can’t stop thinking about how we started out. My mind returns again and again to those early tweets where we joked about funnels of coffee and throwing pancakes at our kids. In the blink of an eye we went from joking Twitter friends to bffs, and I have no regrets. Absolutely none.

    You have held my hand through some of the roughest times in my life, loved me when I was a horrible mess and cheered me on when I tried something new. I don’t have adequate words to tell you how much you mean to me. You’re still one of the strongest, most beautiful women I know, and I’m so proud and GRATEFUL that you’re my friend.

    I remember the first time I heard your voice on the phone and then months later meeting you for the first time in the flesh. Those moments are engraved on my brain, because you were so much more amazing than I could have imagined. I admire you and love you, and I hope that we are always soulmateclones. There’s no one else in the world that I want to be blogging with, because we’re not just online personalities. We’re two real women, with real lives, who are trying to figure out the people we’re meant to be. You accept me, warts and all, and that’s a rare thing indeed.

    Thank you for answering my calls several hundred times a day and reassuring me that my ass doesn’t look fat. For critiquing my writing and giving me pep talks whenever I need it. I’ll kick anybody’s ass who hurts you, and I know you’ll do the same for me. Bejeweled switch blades and stilletos and all that…

    Thank you for an amazing 2012. As we look forward to the New Year, I’m so excited that we’ll be continuing our adventures together. From the vodka and hair metal to our mutual love of donuts and cock… you’re my soulmateclone and the very bestest friend I could ever dream of.

    Thank you so much for Vagina Antics. Thank you so much for being the amazing person you are.

    I love you.

    Heather

    Category Soulmateclone | Tags: ,,, | 4 Comments

  2. Fuck a Mary Tyler Moore Moment

    August 17, 2012 by Nikki Blue

    I’ve conjured images of our first meeting in my head a thousand times at least. I envisioned running into my soulmateclone’s outstretched arms with tears of joy staining my cheeks as a careful selection of Motley Crüe songs played in the background. I imagined harried travelers pausing to take in the depth of emotion while two women clung to each other as if they’d been separated at birth. Of course my hair was perfect, my makeup flawless and my heels high. But that’s not exactly how it happened.

    The morning Heather arrived, I jumped out of bed and into the shower after only five hours of sleep, happy that I’d chosen the Black with Envy polish over Liquid Leather for my toes. There’s a huge difference. Shut up.

    It was 8:30 in the morning and already 975 degrees outside with 450 percent humidity in the air. Any attempt to straighten my curly hair would have been futile. I said, “fuck it” and threw on a dress. I ran out of the door wearing sandals and no undies to meet my bff for the very first time.

    There she was, my rock star, perfectly put together in her green dress with white polka dots with a bag thrown over her shoulder that I would have mugged an old lady for. She looked around nervously with her phone in her hand as she descended the escalator towards Baggage Claim. I was already standing in front of her with the raw emotion of a schoolgirl crush before she saw me. We hugged, we cried and we hugged some more. Her first words were, “I’m so happy to see you!” Mine were, “I feel so short. I’m not used to feeling short.” And after we put her suitcase in the trunk of my car, she called her mama to let her know that I wasn’t an out of work mall Santa with duct tape and a white van.

    We giggled like two teenage girls as we photographed each other’s boobs over breakfast and even more so when we watched an *ahem* erotic video that had been made especially for us. We even received a personalized photo afterwards to mark the special occasion. I’m totally having it made into a magnet for my refrigerator.

    Amazing guacamole and two terrible margaritas later, we found ourselves deciding between ruffle panties and schoolgirl skirts in the adult toy store. We took photos with some playthings I’ve added to my wish list and questioned the functionality of others. And as we perused the small but well stocked BDSM section, I reiterated my dislike of ball gags before I realized it was a jawbreaker I was holding in my hand. I’m now reconsidering my stance.

    We spent the rest of the night drinking wine from very large glasses and tweeting while watching YouTube videos of our favorite 80’s hair bands. We used the phone as a microphone as we sang Fly to the Angels while drooling over the bare-chested, long-haired men of our past. And we said, “vagina” a lot. We looked at photo after naked photo (you know who you are) on my phone and giggled some more. My kids now have confirmation that something is really wrong with me.

    Watching my soulmateclone twirl her hair across the table as she pecks away on her laptop is an amazing sight. Our physical chemistry is just as strong as our verbal chemistry and it’s as if we’ve known each other our entire lives. It just feels right.

    Tonight there will be more of the same. We’ll write while sitting next to each other and we’ll bake sweets while wearing aprons and stilettos. There will be booze, foul language and singing. Lots of singing. We might even be naked.

     

    Category Soulmateclone | Tags: ,, | 12 Comments

  3. Soulmateclones Unite!

    August 15, 2012 by Heather Cole

    Today I’m going to meet my best friend for the very first time. I’m in the airport waiting to board a plane that will whisk me off to the land of sunshine, humidity that will make my hair misbehave like a Motley Crue groupie, alligators and my soulmateclone. (I would also like to note that I’m having a very Sex in the City moment tapping away at my laptop in public. Yes, I’m a writer IN PUBLIC!)

    Nikki and I “met” on Twitter over a year and a half ago. I followed her because she was a writer, and because her bio said something about power ballads (let the 80’s flashbacks begin). Her dry humor told me that she wouldn’t be boring, and I soon saw that she interacted with interesting people. We tweeted back and forth a couple times, and then everything changed. I jumped into a conversation with her and a man I didn’t know. We were joking about our kids on the playground, and then next thing I knew, the conversation had veered from children to sex and I was neck-deep in sexual innuendo . After that day, the three of us became inseparable on Twitter. That silly tweet started the ball rolling for our virtual threesome.

    That mysterious man eventually became my Dom and Master, I referred to him as M here, but before that he played with both Nikki and me. There’s a lot to be said about that time in our relationships. So much that Nikki and I are writing a memoir, but that’s a story for another day. What occurs to me this morning is how well we circumnavigated the Jerry Springer set-up to become bff. When M told Nikki they could only be friends, I was prepared for drama. Not that I watch the Springer Show, *cough* a friend does, but I was ready for the proverbial chair to be hurled at me across the stage. Thank the reality tv gods that didn’t happen. Nikki and I talked about the shift in her relationship with M, and despite the changes, no one wanted to lose the friendships we had forged.

    Nikki’s friendship has sustained me through some of the darkest times in my life. We literally coached each other through our divorces, held each other’s hands when we were afraid and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and we shared all our million thoughts and feelings about sex without judgment. Nikki was the first woman I could tell all my sexual thoughts to. She’s the person that gets my “I miss cock!” texts. She was also the first woman to see a picture of me naked, and to this day, I still send her pics of my bruised body after a scene. We talk, on average, three times a day, and I wouldn’t want to build Vagina Antics with anyone but her. And today I’m going to meet her in the flesh.

    This is the part of my post where I’d summarize (in a humorous way, hopefully) my wishes for this trip and our first meeting. However, the most appropriate thing I could write is:

    To be continued…

    Category Soulmateclone | Tags: ,, | 7 Comments

  4. Two Girls, A Guy and The Twitter: Heather

    January 5, 2012 by Heather Cole

    Part 2 – Heather

    I was a late bloomer and a nerd. (I’m still a nerd despite trying for years and years and years to change that.) I grew up in the middle of nowhere with a traditional rural upbringing. The message was grow up straight and strong, get married, have children and BE GOOD. And holy fuck was I a good girl. Until I discovered sex.

    I went from losing my virginity at seventeen (“Um…why is your hand down my pants?”) to maximum sex overdrive in the blink of an eye (“You want your best friend to watch? Sure!”). I made a career out of dating Bad Boys, the type that you never ever want to bring home to mother. I seduced employers and co-workers, friends and their friends’ friends. And the entire time I was thinking I was wrong somehow. Wrong for loving to fuck. Wrong for loving the connection between people getting hot and naked and sweaty. Wrong for falling, every damn fucking time, for the silver-tongued, golden-boy jock while secretly making out with his girlfriend underneath the bleachers. Luckily for me, I had my Good Girl disguise firmly in place and most people had no clue about the raunchy things I did. I was an under-the-radar sex fiend.

    Then, like Nikki, I felt like the thing missing in my life was the Right Man. So that’s what I did. I found a Right Man and married him. I even had a baby. I buried my sexual side and devoted myself to being the best wife and mother I could be, and damn, was I good at it. So good that for a very long time I forgot about that crucial missing piece.

    Just like Nikki I wrote a book and joined Twitter to learn about indie publishing and find writing friends. The last thing I was looking for was an online affair. In fact, the first time I interacted with Nikki was in a tweeted conversation, albeit a sarcastic one, about our kids. Oh, and then there was The Guy who was fucking her who also entered the conversation. And later entered me. (That story, though, is an entirely separate post because it gets kinky. Kinky in a BIG way.)

    When Nikki and I met we had a situation that could have pitted us as rivals, but all we could see was the similarities between our lives. Now we are both experiencing an amazing rebirth which includes incredible fucking. We love sex, and we’re willing to talk about it. Our kind of sex may not be your kind, but surely we can all agree that we love it. Think of us as your very best girlfriends that you can call up the morning after and laugh about taking a load of semen in your eye. (For the record, I’m the High Priestess of Rookie Mistakes.) We laugh because we know how that feels, and we LOVE to talk all about it. We particularly want to talk about this sex stuff with you.

    So leave us a question or comment, and we’ll respond. Promise! To quote one of the cheesiest lines ever, “we’ve only just begun fucking.”

    Category Soulmateclone | Tags: ,, | 1 Comment

  5. Two Girls, A Guy and The Twitter: Nikki

    January 3, 2012 by Nikki Blue

    Part 1 – Nikki

    Sex isn’t something one should be ashamed of. It’s natural. It can be sweet and gentle, or just fucking hot.

    I discovered sex at a very early age, fourteen to be exact. Once I had a firm grasp on what I was doing, the orgasms followed and I spent a good part of my young adult years on my back, my knees and various other positions that require a great deal of yoga to tolerate. I was proud of my ability to please men, always leaving them wanting more. I loved sex, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I did, however, question the normalcy of some of the desires that I had. I didn’t understand them and had no one to talk to about it. I was labeled a slut by the women while the men were ripping off my panties and throwing my legs over their shoulders.

    I eventually reached a point where I assumed I was supposed to settle down and do what was expected of me, so I married and reproduced. I suppressed my sexual needs and morphed into the happy homemaker I thought I wanted to be, losing bits and pieces of myself every day.

    14 years later, as feelings of unrest and unclaimed orgasms began to surface, I wrote my first book and created a Twitter account to learn as much as I could about publishing from social media. My voice eventually grew louder, my mouth got trashier, and my confidence blossomed, along with my sexual frustration. There was no denying it any longer. I needed to fuck again. Really fuck, as often and as dirty as I could.

    Through a mutual  fanfuckingtasticly cool tweep, I met Heather and we began to interact here and there. It took us both entering a torrid online affair with the same man to realize that we had a lot more in common than unruly kids and bad marriages. The affair opened my eyes to what I was missing, and I busted out of my suburban candy-coated shell with orgasm after screaming orgasm, always wanting more. I knew at that point there was no going back for me. Oh, and did I mention she took him from me? Yeah, she did. Snatched him right out from between my legs, but I’m ok with that because she gives him something I’m not capable of.

    So without him between us muddying the waters, our relationship grew into what it is today. We discuss everything from orgasms, to genital hair removal debacles, to divorce nightmares. We share pictures of facials, bruises and hot footwear. We have no secrets and we don’t judge lascivious behavior. In fact, we encourage it.

    Category Soulmateclone | Tags: ,, | 2 Comments