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July, 2012

  1. Late Nights

    July 26, 2012 by Heather Cole

    I stared through the glass wall of the office at the harbor below, the lights from the tourist cruises dotting the dark water like fireflies. The usual clatter from the company was silenced and the floor deserted. I clutched a pile of file folders to my chest as a reminder of why I was in his office. The lamp on the desk beside me offered a small pool of light against the bulky shapes of office furniture and bookshelves. I heard the door shut behind me with a soft click and then caught a whiff of cologne. My skin twitched when Jai touched me, seconds before I heard his voice in my ear.

    “Turn around,” he said with only a trace of an accent.

    Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I grinned at the dark horizon. “Make me.”

    He growled something incoherent and with one hand released the clip that held my chignon in place. His fingers scraped against my scalp as he grabbed a handful of my hair while his other hand slowly wandered down my ribcage to my waist. His fingers dug into my side as he pulled me against him, and I could feel his erection pressed against me through the fabric of my pencil skirt.

    “Are you saying that you don’t want to look at me? I’m amenable to that.”

    Jai pushed me towards the desk, and I stumbled in my heels, dropping the files to the floor so I could catch my balance. I heard the metallic clink of a belt being loosened and then a zipper sliding on its metal teeth. My heartbeat ratcheted up with anticipation.

    I attempted to turn around then but he caught me with a fistful of hair. Slowly, inextricably, he pulled me to the desk, allowing me enough of an angle so that I could see his grin and the charcoal pinstripe of his designer suit with my peripheral vision. My palms were slick with sweat against the smooth wood, the buttons of my blouse poking into my sternum. My eyes fluttered shut when I felt his palm brush my thigh.

    “Tell me,” he demanded.

    I bit my lip and squirmed until my ass grazed his pants. He laughed and shifted his grip to the back of my neck. I had exactly three seconds to wonder what he was planning.

    The sting of his hand against my ass stole my breath, but I welcomed the pain.

    “Tell me.”

    He yanked my skirt up and swung again. The force of his palm against my flesh inched my body along the desk.

    “Say it.”

    Another hit.

    My panties were drenched, the warmth and pain of his hands driving my need. Drawing a deep breath through my nose, I shook my head and clamped my lips tight. I wanted to relish the power of withholding as long as possible. I waited for another blow but none was forthcoming. Instead he pulled down my underwear, his long fingers reaching for my swollen clit.

    “You know what I can do to you,” he murmured, “what we can do together. Two words and you can have it all.”

    His clever fingers stroked closer to the lips of my vagina.

    “Say it or I leave you here.”

    He held me like a butterfly pinned to a mat. In that critical moment of overwhelming desire and need, I craved both the reward and the pain. In the end, though, I always gave him what he wanted.

    “I’m yours,” I whispered.

    He laughed again, because he had never doubted it.


  2. Flogging and Fondue

    July 20, 2012 by Heather Cole

    The best thing about being a contributor to the office supply erotica anthology FELT TIPS is the amazing writers I get to meet. Today I’m chatting with AmyBeth Inverness on her blog, and she asked me all sorts of excellent questions about polyamory and necrophiliac ducks. Yes, there IS such a thing!

    So without further yammering from me, go over there and take a gander. That AmyBeth is a gem. Plus there’s a bonus Star Wars question! SQUEE!

    xoxo Heather


  3. A Sex Blogger Who Doesn’t Want Sex

    July 10, 2012 by Heather Cole

    If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably figured out that M and I parted ways last week. It’s the most devastating break-up of my life, and at some point I’ll write about it. Right now, though, I’m too deep in it to know where to start. There are not enough words to describe losing my Master, dearest friend and lover all at one fell swoop. I’m the walking wounded, someone with a gaping hole in their my chest. Like a zombie but prettier and with better shoes.

    My world has been reduced to accomplishing the basic tasks of living and caring for my daughter. Much of it is accompanied by tears, and the best way I can describe it is feeling like I’m mourning a death. But I’m getting out of bed at least.

    Most days.

    My sexual desire has dwindled to nothing, and the thought of being part of a bdsm scene makes me hyperventilate. The man who identified my submission as a gift and who taught me that kneeling could be a powerful act is gone from my life. It feels like he took the key to my sexuality with him. In theory I know that this is temporary. One day I will want both those things again, and I’ll kneel for a different Master. Excuse me for a second while I throw up…

    *deep breath*

    It’s an odd thing to not feel sexy or desirable or horny. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of days that I don’t feel one of them. But I’ve never had it all go away at once. Those feelings have fled, and I have no inkling of when they’ll return. I haven’t touched my vibrator or myself. My bed has become the place where I cry myself to sleep, not a place of love and fantastic sex.

    B is coming to visit next week. My handsome B with his kindness and warmth and understanding. I want to be a good girlfriend. I want this visit to be like our last with lots of sex and love and laughter. But I’m afraid that I can’t. I’m afraid that he’ll hold me and I won’t be able to stop sobbing.

    I talked about my lack of a sex drive for the first time a couple days ago. I explained to B that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to have sex with him, I just don’t want to have sex at all. Great explanation, right? Very reassuring. But he was understanding and wonderfully supportive. He said that he wanted to be with me regardless of whether or not we had sex. I felt better after he said it, but there was a whisper of doubt in my head. What if your sexual feelings never come back?

    I trust that everything will return to normal at some point. Everyone is telling me that, even though I can’t feel it with any certainty. I know the words to say and the actions of flirting and sex, but I have none of the powerful emotion that fuels it. It’s like holding someone’s hand in the dark. I know that the darkness can’t last forever, but I can’t see the pinprick of light in the distance yet. I can only grasp the hands around me and hold tight and wait for the sun.


  4. Location, Location, Location

    July 5, 2012 by Heather Cole

    Oh how I love me some sweet Jenny Lyn. If she’s vanilla, I swear I could eat soft serve every damn day. And she’s funny as the dickens too. *huge sigh* If y’all missed her post yesterday, git yer ass back there and read. After you fall in love with her, you’ll realize that we have to fight over her. Preferably in chocolate pudding with lots of “breaks” for…you know…resting and stuff.

    But I digress!

    This post is supposed to be about all the crazy places I’ve had sex and well…I haven’t been that crazy with location. Jenny Lyn with her wild vanilla ways has me beat hands down!  In fact, you’ll read my list and be amazed at how decidedly humdrum it is. Just don’t fall asleep.

    1. In a 4Runner outside a bar – The man in question was a chemist. We hung out at the same neighborhood pub, and he was wingman to this horribly awkward guy who hit on my roommate. Later I learned that Mr. Awkward humped like a bunny which just added insult to my roommate’s vagina injury. Mr. Chemist and I hit it off as we commiserated over the impending disaster of his friend and my roommate playing tonsil hockey. One thing led to another and we ended up in the back seat of his truck, LL Cool J blaring on the stereo. It was cramped and messy and amazing. Every time I hear Back Seat I get a smile on my face.

    2. Pay-By-The-Hour Motel north of Quito, Ecuador – I studied abroad my senior year of college, and I studied a lot: the men, salsa dancing, the men. I lived with a host family, so any shenanigans had to be conducted apart from my bedroom, only a few steps away from where mami and papi slept. In hindsight the motel was probably a bad choice, or a tacky one at the very least.

    There were a string of motels north of the city that charged by the hour and catered to the dozens of prostitutes that lined the streets of the tourist district. I ended up in such a motel with a date. The bed was circular and could easily have accommodated the entire Ecuadorian soccer team. And bonus, we had the convenience of ordering off a long menu of items: food, condoms, lube, toys, booze etc. He simply marked what we wanted on the order slip, shoved it through a slot in the door and then a buzzer sounded when our order was ready.

    And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

    3. Camper Outside My Parents House – Maybe my list should be called “Stupidest Places to Have Sex.” Mom and Dad, my apologies for what you’re about to read.

    It was the first time I had anal sex. I had recently graduated college and was dating another recruiter from a rival college. He met my family and we went out for dinner. He and I got tipsy and I had the BRILLIANT idea of having sex in the family camper, because no one would know we were having sex. Because I was a jackass and thinking with my nether regions.

    Anal sex was phenomenal! However, I didn’t realize that my ass wasn’t the only thing being pounded. One side of the camper was completely off the ground because of the force of our fucking on the other side which sunk the supports into the ground. We didn’t even notice that we weren’t level. Over the breakfast table my father asked, “you guys have fun last night?” and nodded to the window where everyone could see the lopsided camper.

    I’m going to go die of remembered mortification now.