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Anal Orgasms Are Hard, Y’all

June 7, 2013 by Nikki Blue

I’ve pondered anal orgasms for days now and I’m no closer to knowing what to write about them than I am to receiving a shiny Mother of the Year award for my outstanding parenting skills. I’m tired and I’m frustrated, and all I can think about is how I’d sell one of my kids to a band of gypsies for a stack of buttermilk pancakes with boysenberry syrup, but I digress.

I realize I’m struggling with this particular subject matter because despite how often Mr. K and I have anal sex, I’ve never actually experienced an anal orgasm. Sure I’ve had clitoral orgasms during our anal sexcapades, and the delicious sensation that shoots straight to my clit when Mr. K penetrates my asshole is wickedly intense. I haven’t orgasmed from anal stimulation though. And I really want to.

Rumor has it the female anal orgasm occurs from indirect stimulation of the G-Spot through the vaginal wall, but science suggests the nerve endings that flood the anus move through the same nerve that activates the clitoris; the pudendal nerve. So which is true? Who the fuck knows. Finding concrete information regarding the female anal orgasm has been nearly as challenging as finding a lone silver sequin in a glitter factory. Even with my internet ninja skills. Most search results provide links to videos on porn sites and we all know that’s always a credible source. *eye roll* Some argue its existence altogether, saying the anal-o is nothing more than a sexy creation of orgasm mythology.

I disagree with the naysayers though. They’re harder to find, but there are women who have had what seems to be the elusive anal orgasm. They can be found spouting their experiences with what is apparently the Super Bowl of orgasms on FetLife, message boards, and blogs. I’ve read in some cases where anal orgasms are so powerful women have passed out from them, gushed like a fire hydrant, or they were so overwhelmed with pleasure they were left shaking uncontrollably. I confess I’m totally down with that.

Prostate orgasms are a different story though. The interwebs are damn near busting at the html with hard facts, benefits and techniques. Using diagrams, websites and books on the art of prostate pleasure tell us the gland is located one to two inches inside a man’s rectum toward the front of his body. And they tell us that we can give our men mindblowing orgasms by massaging the walnut shaped gland with our finger or a dildo. The first time I did this to Mr. K, he found the stimulation extremely pleasurable but when he said he felt like he was going to pee I stopped, worried I was doing it wrong. But they say it’s normal for the man to feel like he’s going to pee just before a prostate orgasm. Well, “they,” whoever you are, I’ll be testing this theory when Mr. K visits in a few days.

We spent some time today talking about my anal orgasms, or lack thereof, and Mr. K asked if there is something we’re not doing right. I didn’t have an answer for him. But realistically, orgasm or not, how can something that feels so amazing be wrong? We’re not giving up on them though. We’ve vowed to dedicate ourselves to the worthy cause of discovering the almighty anal orgasm. You know, for science.


11 Comments »

  1. says:

    For science! (And anal!)

    Just remember, serious scientific studies requires countless hours of research and a large sample size.

  2. jemima101 says:

    I agree…you need to dedicate yourself to this for humanity! I do have anal orgasms, but i am afraid i dont have a clue why, usually with Carter and playing with my clit can help, but other than that you will just have to research harder, deeper, longer. ;-)

  3. My Sir told me months ago that I wouldn’t know what anal sex felt like until he made my cum through my ass because he’d done it before. I didn’t really believe him until one of my friends had an anal orgasm, and then I was like “Okay, so when are we going to do this?” xxx

  4. Jason says:

    Guys have a hard time with them as well, depending on how sensitive our anal G-Spot is. Yup, I know from experience.

  5. says:

    Girl. They are the hardest, but also the bestest (yes, that’s a word).

    Anal play was only just introduced into my sexual revolution in the past year, but I love love love it. And, as I quickly found out, so does M. Score! I, quite by accident, had my first anal orgasm not more than a week ago. I was instructed to press my vibrator against my Icicles No. 32 glass heart dildo one bulge at a time in my ass as my nipples were tied with rubber bands and clipped with clothes pins. The vibrations, pain and most pleasurable sensation of each bulge was enough to send me over the edge.

    My knees went weak, my toes went numb and I couldn’t speak to say “Thank you, Sir”, until I was threatened with more clips… It’s a wild ride and one I hope you get to experience soon! My only hope is that M and I won’t have to experience it from a distance.

  6. Nikki Blue says:

    You lucky girl!

  7. […] Anal Orgasms Are Hard, Y’all – The anal orgasm has proven to be more elusive than the Abominable Snowman, but I ain’t […]

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