Like most women ( I can only assume ) across the internetz, I was super bummed this week when I learned it was #Armpits4August. I was like HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? There were only three, wait, four days left in the month and there was NO WAY I could grow pit hair in such a short period. But after the convulsive sobbing stopped, it dawned on me that armpit hair meant unlicked armpits. So there’s that.
Anyway…
There was also the whole you-know-who did the thing on the thing with the big, foam thing in
I’m looking for a cat named “Bob Barker.” – I confess I’m obsessed with cats, but I don’t like cats. Why? Because cats are assholes. Except for . Wait, I don’t like him either. I just like saying “Catsquatch.”
Lamar Odom was missing, but then he wasn’t. Honestly, I could give a rats ass about the dude. I just wanna know how you lose a 6’10” Kardashian.
Study says people prefer sex and alcohol over parenting – Aaaaaand we needed a study to arrive at this conclusion?
Cliteracy – A giant, golden clitoris? Yee-haw, motherfuckers! Wait, what?
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Heather’s faves:
Earlier this week, Nikki drank too much coffee. I thought I knew what over-caffeinated looked like, but I was wrong. The Oatmeal summed up her condition perfectly. (Minus the mustache)
And the hairy chest. Just sayin’.
This article isn’t applicable to me AT ALL this week. Nope. Not me.
Here’s your dose of humanity for the week, people.
Get down and funky.
The link about what Nikki is like on coffee was funny as hell, but it still can’t beat her Muppet flail.
About making love. It’s better than masturbation but a little less exciting than an erotic spanking.
However on a warm summer night in a double hammock with a clear sky, full moon and lots of stars it’s pure heaven until you end up flipping out of hammock and almost break a hip.
Muppet flails can be quite uncomfortable if done without sufficient warm-up and lots of lubrication. Wait, that’s anal sex.