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G is for Gray Pubic Hair

June 7, 2014 by Nikki Blue

Gray hair is a perfectly natural part of growing older, and I have quite a few. Sometimes I cover them with semi-permanent hair color; sometimes I don’t. I’m really kind of meh about it. I am a forty-something woman, after all, and I’m damn proud of my age. HOWEVER, gray pubic hair freaks me out. I don’t like it, and I trim my landing strip so close it’s impossible to see. If the fear of an aging snatch– visually speaking, of course –makes me vain or weird, fine, I’ll own it. And I confess that if I had a full bush, this would totally be me:

 

You’re welcome.

Nikki

 

Before I met sir, I was more devoted to visiting my aesthetician than I was the dentist. My ponynose was near and dear to my vagina (obviously) and my heart. I loved being bare down there. When I became sir’s slave, one of the first things he wanted me to do was grow out my pubic hair. Boy howdy, did I resist. I hemmed and hawed and threw a hissy. I had yet to learn that the more I protested a particular suggestion, the more sir became enamored with it. So I agreed on the surface that I would comply with growing a bush, but secretly I trimmed and shaved when I was alone. It was growing… but really reaaaaalllly slowly.

Everything was going according to my plan until I accidentally snipped my labia with a pair of scissors as I tried to tame this one extra-long pube. You can imagine my phone call to Nikki. There was a lot of blood and shrieking (me), and I’m pretty sure she laughed through most of it. I had to tell sir. There was no way I could have vaginal sex (it would rub with every movement) until the cut healed. Sir didn’t laugh, but he told me I could no longer be trusted with scissors. I cried, but he was resolute. My carefully coiffed pubes went from barely there to retro bush in just a couple weeks. And that’s when I saw it…

A GRAY FUCKING PUBIC HAIR

I don’t see it now though. In fact, I went into the bathroom only moments ago and checked for absolute certain. And no, there’s no gray pubic hair. My bush is silky and dark blond. It was probably the light hitting a particularly luxurious strand or something. Maybe I was drunk. At any rate, I’ve decided that I don’t believe in it. It’s like the fabled Sasquatch of my bush. A mere rumor to spook explorers in the area. There’s no scientific evidence of the alleged gray pubic hair exists. Seriously.

~Heather

 

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6 Comments »

  1. God, I love you guys. I just looked down at my hoohaa. I have never seen a gray hair there, I’m sure… For some reason it never occurred to me those hairs would go gray. Hmm…

  2. John says:

    This made me giggle; I keep my public hair absent via shaving or, if I am due to go to a naturist venue in the next few weeks, I let it grow so it’s short.

    And I too have the indignity of gray pubic hair (I’m 32).

    Only the odd or two … well six last time. This caused my pubic razor to hit my hands quicker than brown paper envelopes arrived in the hands of World Cup voters.

    They shall be banished! ;-)

  3. I’ve decided I LOVE your blog. <3
    Very funny. I'm not gray yet but I have "one" single eyebrow hair that immediately gets plucked. The thought of gray all over is…well….no way…ack!

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