Yesterday, Kayla Lords shared Upworthy’s video on Facebook of Cindy Gallop talking about how hardcore porn is defining the way sex should be. She said, “There’s an entire generation growing up that believes what you see in hardcore pornography is the way you have sex.”
That’s a pretty powerful statement, and a super big problem.
As a mother of two teenagers, it’s my responsibility to make sure they understand they have a right to choose what happens during a sexual encounter when that day comes. Pornography won’t sexually educate my children, I will.
I also think hardcore pornography influences more than just how the younger generation thinks sex should be. I believe it gives mature men misleading ideas about the sexual nature of women, including ridiculous notions such as all women get wet while watching the young carpenter fix the broken step on the back porch, or that women are dying to suck the UPS man’s cock when he delivers a package. That may be the case for some women, but chances are, it’s not for most. Not all ladies possess the skill or adore deep throating either. Just sayin’. So that, in my opinion, adds to the problem with hardcore pornography.
Anyway, watch Cindy’s video and check out her website, MakeLoveNotPorn.com.
~Nikki
Porn absolutely influences all ages. I don’t watch videos, but I do look at a lot of photography (thank you, Tumblr). I’ve had to specifically look for erotic images that are geared towards larger women because I could feel my view of myself changing based on the unrealistic images found in a lot of erotic/pornographic imagery. Porn doesn’t just affect how we see our partner, it affects how we see ourselves.
You’re absolutely right, Kayla. The body image message the majority of it sends is that to be sexy we need to be tattooed, skinny, and hair-free. Now I have to teach my daughter otherwise.
And I get to teach the boys that people who don’t fit the “standard” of beauty are still beautiful. My oldest curls his lip every time Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass comes on – and not *just* because I’m singing it at the top of my lungs. At 9, he’s already saying that guys don’t like bigger girls. The battle will be long and mostly uphill for both of us, I think.
I have no doubt that you can reel him in, Kayla.
This is such an important point and one that I think unfortunately is coming too late to save at least one generation of women from enduring things to some extent. I, don’t really want to say it this way, but feel I’ve been “damaged” in a sense from hard core porn watching and it’s changed the way I view sex and relationships, in a bad way. It’s a fight to reclaim myself and my body, sex life and what I enjoy from the unrealistic portrals in this type of porn.
As Cindy Gallop says, though, there will be a certain amount of rehabilitation and reducation needed, and with an open mind, I think it’s possible.
Can someone direct me to the porn that isn’t a bunch of German guys screaming at one girl? That’d be great
Don’t make me roll my eyes at you.
I agree that porn is impacting the thinking of men and women in a negative way, yet we all keep writing it, watching it, and promoting people who create it. All of us in the sex-blogging community, evn in a very sex-positive way, generate an environment where it’s acceptable to put out more and more porn.
If we want the negative impacts to stop, we have to stop porn itself. I’m not about to do that, but until we do, we have to realize and admit that we are all part of the problem.
I agree with you to a point, but a lot of us in the sex-blogging community don’t only write about sex or kink. We also write about the emotions and thought processes behind it all. I think that is what sets us apart.