I’ve rewritten the opening paragraph of this blog post three times now and I’m still not sure I won’t come off sounding like a raging bitch, but you know what?
Fuck it.
Anal play has been a hot topic between Heather and me as of late. More so than usual, because Heather has been dealt a handful of harsh criticisms and unwarranted judgments that have been slung with the carelessness of mud. I think it goes without saying my hackles are raised and the claws are out in defense against this pack of close-minded kinksters who believe ALL anal activities fall into the scat play category. This, my kinky friends, is what I call bullshit.
Viewed as extreme by the majority of kinksters, scat play is loosely defined as getting sexual pleasure from the excretion of feces. Whether it’s from the sight, smell, taste or feel of it, there are those who get off on it. Sometimes scat, also known as scatophilia, is part of a submissive’s desire to be used as a human toilet. Sometimes it’s part of enema play, and there are some Masters who incorporate it into slave training. Like many other kinksters, scat play is a hard limit for me. Like super fucking hard. Anal play, however, refers to any sexual activity that stimulates the anus. It’s a blanket term used to describe analingus or rimming, fingering, fisting, the use of anal toys, and anal intercourse. It does NOT include the consumption of or anything else pertaining to scat.
I give a lot of thought to anal play beforehand, making sure my ass is as clean as it can possibly be, because the last thing I want to do is give Mr. K more than he bargains for when I pull the jeweled plug from my asshole and shove it in his eager mouth. Now does that sound like scat play? Didn’t think so.
There are some who will argue that regardless of the level of preparation, the anus is still a dirty place. I’m not naive to this. I understand that it doesn’t matter how little I eat the day I know Mr. K will worship my ass, or how well I cleanse internally with a douche bottle, there is still the possibility of trace amounts of feces. But that doesn’t stop me from kissing him after he’s tongue fucked my asshole or giving him a blow job that makes his knees buckle after he’s, well, you know. That still doesn’t classify it as scat play as far as I’m concerned.
Scat play and anal play are clearly different fetishes and saying they are the same doesn’t make it so. I find no appeal whatsoever in scat, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to condemn a person who does either. There’s too much judgment floating around the kinky community as it is, which in Heather’s words is super shitty. And for those who don’t feel that they need more than a soapy shower before a round of anal sex, guess what: still not scat play. With that being said, all fetishes have lines that can easily blur, but with good communication and a clear understanding of limits, those lines are less likely to lose focus.
Anal play is an important element of the sexual connection Mr. K and I share. It has been from our first night together. And as our relationship and roles have evolved, the purpose of our anal play has grown deeper. We give ourselves freely, allowing the incredible sensations, both physical and mental, to take control of our bodies. The high is more addictive than any drug. So anytime a person, kinky or otherwise, passes judgment on me because of their own hang-ups, I’ll defend myself. And when they push me into a corner trying to shove their definition of anal play down my throat or when they attempt to devalue what I feel is the most powerful expression of intimacy, back up because I’m coming out swinging.
