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Posts Tagged ‘kinky relationships’

  1. Best Laid Plans

    January 18, 2013 by Nikki Blue

    “I think we may scene.”

    The words appeared on my phone during a text conversation with Mr. Kink as we discussed our upcoming trip together. It has been too long since we’ve fucked each other silly, and at this point, I’m questioning our ability to make it out of the airport without being arrested for all sorts of explicit groping. I’ve imagined the moment I see his wicked smile as we come together between the North and South terminals in great detail. I’ll run to him and he’ll catch me, kissing me passionately and inappropriately by public standards. Just like The Thorn Birds but better. Then we’ll fall to the ground because of the strain on his back and I’ll probably break a bone, because I’m fragile. Hot right?

    The things we intended to do to each other were always a regular topic before our visits, but he had never used ‘scene’ before and it glared at me brazenly. It half dared me and half taunted me to respond, but I wasn’t sure what to say exactly. I admit I panicked a little, worried that he wanted me to morph into Super Domme, complete with thigh high leather boots and harsh words. That’s not me. Then I had to ask myself if he was just caught up in the heat of the words flying back and forth, or maybe my eyes were deceiving me. But when I put on my glasses and read them again, they remained unchanged. I swallowed hard, wondering if he fully understood that a scene meant his complete submission and trust. But he knew. To be honest, I should have seen it coming.

    Lately, Mr. Kink has expressed his desire for me to push him farther, domme him harder. During our last visit, I did exactly that. It was nothing more than words really, but they had an incredible impact and his response was amazing. It wasn’t a huge leap, but it was somewhat of a turning point for both of us, blowing the doors wide open to becoming more defined in our roles. And as much as he wants more, I want to give it to him. He’s still discovering his needs, though, and I’m still learning how to satisfy them. As we discussed our plans for the trip, it became clear that he has certain expectations for our time together. I was uncertain what to do with that realization and it sat heavily on my shoulders, doubt rolling through my veins begging another question.

    Am I capable of giving him what he wants?

    I wasn’t sure at first, but as I thought back over the past year, it was apparent that this is where we’ve been heading from day one. We’ve evolved together and I now know I was meant to be on top. The dominant in me was there all along, it just needed to be freed. So, to answer the question of my ability to meet his needs, fuck yes I can. But because he will read every word I write, I must be vague about my design. I will say this, though. I’ve researched and purchased new fetish toys for his my enjoyment. After careful consideration, I’ve decided against wearing my steel plug on the plane, because let’s be realistic here. When was the last time you saw a TSA Agent with a sense of humor? Exactly.

    I can’t say much more about my carefully planned menu of hot, kinky sex without spoiling the surprise, but I did buy knee socks and watch hours and hours of femdom footage for ideas. In my opinion, the majority of it verges on ridiculous, but I did snag some fantastic ideas. I refuse to copy their cookie cutter style, though, and I won’t wear a latex catsuit under my strap-on harness. It must be as hot as Satan’s balls in there with no room to sweat, and that’s just not sexy. But the main reason I don’t like them is because neither one of us is willing to sacrifice the intimacy of skin to skin contact. I will, however, wear a wifebeater and thigh highs with bows as I make him beg over and over again, because as I’ve said before, I’m fucking girly.

    I can barely contain my excitement about this weekend and my emotions are all over the place. They’re too scattered for me to put into words. Heather even sent this back to me three times wanting me to articulate how I’m feeling, but I’m having a difficult time focusing on anything. I trust that when we’re together, I’ll level out and slip easily into my role as dominant. Until then my nerves will remain a tight ball in the pit of my stomach and at risk of sounding cheesy, my heart will race wildly. SO STOP NAGGING ME, HEATHER!


  2. e[lust] #41

    November 15, 2012 by Nikki Blue

    
                

    Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #42? Start with the newly updated rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

    ~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

    The 2 weeks of my sex life I lost to Zoloft“My G-spot felt non-existent. My clit felt numb. The masturbation didn’t hold my interest, and my mind wandered.”

    Baby Girl“You fill me with a desire to learn so that I can teach you. I push you to trust yourself as I trust you.”

    Denial““Not yet,” he says, pulling both of my arms back, leaving my clit screaming for attention.”

    ~ e[lust] Editress ~

    Dangerous Lilly

    ~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

    Thoughts: Contractual Considerations

    All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

    Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

    Alley-Oops
    Challenging Sexy
    Open Me Up
    How this blog started
    Speaking of NRE

    Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

    How to Pack for a Con
    Rape Culture Rant
    The Female Orgasm: A Brief History, Part 1

    Kink & Fetish

    Ball Gag Safety For Beginners
    Choose one word to describe yourself
    Drool
    Drawing out hurt
    Dirty, Nasty, Perfect
    Evolution of a new fetish: veiling erotic
    It was always a trap…
    “unnamed”
    The Panty Loan
    Watersports: Not As Easy As It Sounds

    Erotic Writing

    A Writing Challenge – Blindfold
    about to be devoured
    Blow Me Away
    Girls’ Night Out
    Hot Girls with Gay Bodyguards
    Leaving You Wasted!
    Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Sexeh and Sexbee
    Questionnaire
    Retrospective
    Vampire girl #14


  3. Anal Sex – Part 2

    May 27, 2012 by Nikki Blue

    When Heather suggested we write about anal sex this week, I was all over it. Literally and figuratively. Seriously, who doesn’t love some buttsex? Okay, okay, I know not everyone finds it pleasurable, but to me it’s the most intimate way I can give myself to my partner. It’s a fan-fucking-tastic feeling when he lays his hands on top of mine, lacing his fingers through my own, and claims me as he whispers “mine” into my ear.

    *swoon*

    I’ve always enjoyed anal sex. When I got married, however, that desire was put in a box with everything else that my close-minded ex husband didn’t consider “normal” sexual practices. Now that I’m divorced my life is different. I have an amazing partner, and with him I have taken my appreciation of anal sex to new heights. He thinks I “ooze sex,” and loves everything about my body, but he especially loves my ass. Holy Jesus does that man love my ass. He loves it with his fingers, his tongue, and of course, his cock.

    For me, it takes a tremendous amount of trust and strength to submit to anal play. My partner recognizes that anal sex releases the submissive in me, making the desire to please him overwhelming at times. My head spins, my heart races, and I can’t focus on anything but him. He holds me close afterwards, kissing me, touching me, giving me the care I need to come down safely from the high of the all-consuming moment we’ve shared. He tells me what a good girl I am, because he knows it soothes me, and he thanks me for giving myself to him.

    Anal sex isn’t only about being on my knees with my face shoved into a pillow and my ass in the air. It’s more personal than that. It’s any position that allows the intimacy of his skin touching mine, my hands in his hair, or our eyes locked on each other’s. It’s knowing and feeling that he appreciates and respects what I give him.

    I admit that wearing a strap-on makes me feel powerful, and watching the reflection in the mirror of me taking his body with beads of sweat running down mine is wonderfully hot. It’s an intimate moment between the two of us and every bit of my focus is on his needs, his pleasure. I don’t try to mimic the acrobatic positions I’ve seen on PornHub. That’s not the reality of anal sex. Reality is laying him on his back with a pillow under his ass, and wrapping his legs around me as I penetrate him. It’s his eyes glazing over in pure ecstasy as he pleasures himself. It’s watching him explode like the grand finale at the end of a spectacular fireworks display. Reality is the satisfaction of giving him what he wants.

    The first time I fucked my partner with a strap-on, I was a little anxious. It was a first for both of us and I didn’t want to go too fast or hurt him in anyway. I let him guide me, telling me what to do, and the sounds of his pleasure as I penetrated him washed away any doubt I might have had. He doesn’t require the aftercare that I need, but powerful orgasms are always followed by quiet moments of holding and touching. It’s a closeness that is unparalleled.

    Butt plugs are something I wasn’t crazy about at first. I’d been instructed by a Dom to wear one and because of that, I thought it brought my submissiveness outside of the bedroom. I had a big problem with that. But, I realized that’s not what it did at all and I’ve grown to love them.

    There was a time when I wore a butt plug because it helped me to refocus my scattered emotions when my marriage was crumbling around me. It gave me a sense of control. A little odd maybe, but true. Then I wore it mainly when I masturbated because the orgasms were incredible. Now I wear my favorite stainless steel plug with the sparkly jeweled base because my partner finds it unbelievably sexy. I wear it when he instructs me to do so. I wear it to please him. I also like to use one on him. And I like to remind him that his ass is mine.

    At this point in my life, incorporating anal play into a sexual relationship is something I don’t take lightly. I need to feel a cerebral connection, I need to feel trust, and I need to feel safe. Without that combination, it just won’t happen. I’m not a twenty-something anymore trying to make sense of my wants and needs, I understand them now and I’ve accepted them. I’m finally confident about who and what I am, and I’m proud of it.