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Posts Tagged ‘Jilly Boyd’

  1. Kick Ass – A guest post by Jillian Boyd

    January 11, 2013 by Heather Cole

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    I like to think of myself as a pretty badass lady. I’m smart, a massive geek and I can probably trade witticisms with the best of them (except with Stephen Fry. I wouldn’t dare.)

    My brain is incredibly sexy. If you don’t believe me, I’m pretty sure that my other half will say something to that liking. He might also mention that he finds my body sexy.

    Which I’m not so sure about.

    My relationship with my body is a tumultuous one. I grew up as the token large broad in school, and therefore got to experience those childhood joys of being called fatty fat arse and getting shoved face down into a sandbox just because I had the audacity to look the way I looked.

    Kids can be dicks, that’s for sure.

    If you think I didn’t put any effort in to losing weight, guess again. I did. I’ve seen a ton of dietitians, psychiatrists and health professionals in my time. Mainly recommended to me by people who thought I’d gone a bit wrong with my life.

    I’ll never forget the P.E. classes, mostly spent sitting on the side, watching other people do a running test (a rite of passage for many a 13-year-old) and thinking that I was pretty damn lucky to have a teacher that understood I wasn’t capable of such feats of athleticism.

    I’ll also never forget the puns made on my name, the social assistant who called my mother a bad mother because she let her child go fat and just about every single painful minute of my childhood. Until the day I decided I’d had enough. And weirdly, that wasn’t the day I booked myself in for a gastric bypass.

    Nope.

    It was the first time I made love to my partner.

    We had been teasing and playing all night, until I found myself completely blocked by nerves. I couldn’t do it. What if he was repulsed? What if he suddenly went off me?

    I went to sleep topless, wearing a pair of shorts and knickers and a ton of regret on my shoulder. But by dawn’s early light, I had decided something.

    Fuck this. I’ll be naked.

    I’m the fucking Barenaked Lady!

    I took the remainder of my clothes off and slid next to him in bed. And I had never been prouder of myself, because it was the first time that I felt no shame about my body.  And it’s a feeling that I have managed to hold on to. It was something that needed to happen to help me find that part of myself. That part that is able to get naked and flaunt her body without thinking “Shite, is he looking at my wobbles?”

    I like my wobbles.

    In fact, I think they’re quite sexy…

    It took me a very long time to get confident in this body. But knowing what I know now is helping me  get one step closer to becoming a kick ass lady.

    And that’s the way I like it.

    Jillian Boyd, Curvy Love Goddess (so sayeth my better half)

    Jillian Boyd is a writer, blogger and geekazoid, based in London. She had been published by the likes of Constable and Robinson and Cliterati. Her blog, called Lady Laid Bare, charts her sexual evolution and revolution. In her spare time, she likes crafting, reading, cooking and dancing like no-one’s watching.

    Twitter ~ @JillyBoyd

    Facebook ~  http://www.facebook.com/jboydwrites

    Blog ~ http://barenakedlady.wordpress.com


  2. Aunty Flo Comes A Knockin’ – Guest Post by Jillian Boyd

    June 26, 2012 by Heather Cole

    Nikki and I are THRILLED to have the lovely and talented Ms. Jillian Boyd featured on Vagina Antics this week. She’s a smut writer and blogger, and her blog is a delightful mixture of erotica and honest posts about her own developing sexuality. PLUS, she’s a fellow contributor to the erotica anthology FELT TIPS, edited by Tiffany Reisz, that will be published later this year.

     Our guest bloggers get to choose their topic, and this week Jill wanted to write about that monthly visitor, our periods. Yes, that neglected part of female sexuality that gets negative press from women and men alike. This week we offer our readers three different viewpoints and different experiences about a common event that connects all females. Enjoy!  xoxo Heather 

     

    Aunty Flo Comes A Knockin’

    By Jillian Boyd

    I’ve noticed something.

    It’s been troubling me for a few months now, but I can no longer keep quiet on it. My periods have changed.

    Seriously. The last few months, they have become worse. More bleeding, fiercer pains in my lower belly, mood swings of a positively apocalyptic fashion. Well, maybe not that last one, but I have swings in my mood and they are not pleasant.

    Never once did I imagine them to become worse. When I got them at age eleven (yes, I bloomed too early), they were already terrible.

    Do I remember getting them?

    Oh yes. Yes, I do. Because it was awful. Traumatic, awful and oh dear me.

    Picture this. You’re about eleven years old. Nobody in school likes you, seeing as you’re that weird autistic kid from that special boarding house who doesn’t get to go home on the weekends. You’re shy, you’re awkward, you have no idea what life is.

    So, of course, your periods decide to pounce on you in the middle of a school day.

    You try to hide them. You even sit on your jacket on the bus ride home, because you don’t want to leave stains on the seating.

    The bus ride is uncomfortable, by the way. As if you couldn’t guess.

    You arrive back at the boarding house, and run up to one of the pedagogues. At this point you are without any words, so what you do is just show the MAHUSSIVE bloodstain on your jacket.

    The pedagogue nods. “You’ve become a woman,” she says. (I don’t actually remember if she said it, seeing as I was violently sobbing and crying out for my mum at this point. True story.)

    Needless to say, the first few months of my period weren’t exactly happy times.

    I didn’t really know how to control the flow and when to change pads, so I often had “accidents”, that kind of made me the laughing stock of the entire school. It’s not fun running around with massive red stains across your bum, I tell you that.

    Not long after, I started taking birth control, to regulate the flow of my periods. It did help, although it took me a few years to get used to changing pads in time. When I finally mastered that, I felt like I’d conquered a small country.

    They became more subdued too. I could go about my business without keeling over with stomach cramps. No significant mood swings took over. It felt good.

    Although, of course, you tend to lie about it in order to get out of PE class.

    Or was that just me?

    Lately though, it’s gotten worse. I don’t know how it got to be worse, but I just know that I’m experiencing more cramps and more mood swings.

    You tend to learn to live with it though. ‘Cos that’s just how Flo rolls, ‘innit?

    Every period experiences changes, I presume. Right now, mine is just at that time where I need more lie-downs during. And possibly a hot pack.

    So.

    Periods. Talk about them. Write about them. Fuck, be daring, and taste your own period blood, like I once did. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    Flo can be a bitch. But she’s really nothing to worry about.

     

    Jillian Boyd is a writer (of smut), blogger (of sex) and serial coffee drinker (of milk and two sugars). She is a soon-to-be expat and will be conquering the UK with her salacious ramblings. She blogs at http://barenakedlady.wordpress.com, and owns the I Spit Glitter (http://ladyspittingglitter.tumblr.com) and Filthy/Gorgeous/Love (http://filthygorgeouslove.tumblr.com) Tumblr blogs.