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Posts Tagged ‘sadism’

  1. The Incidental Sadist

    October 31, 2016 by Heather Cole


    He requested tea with my beating. That was new.

    From my vantage point, with my arms bound behind me with rope and my ankle cuffs clipped to the spreader bar, I could see steam wafting from the cup. He sipped the tea and perused the implements spread across the table. It reminded me of someone shopping for the perfect fruit, not a British sadist in contemplation.

    Strike One – Heather

    Things were subtly different from the first time we played. Some of it was a consequence of my actions, deliberate and incidental. I had forgotten repeatedly to update my shared calendar which made scheduling time at the dungeon a challenge for the Sadist. Eve, the Domme supervising our play time and the coordinator of this event, “helpfully” shared my sassy texts regarding the calendar. I hadn’t curbed my tongue. Strike one – Heather.

    Strike Two – Heather

    On the day of our scene, I hit unusual traffic on my way to the dungeon. I arrived half an hour late, and although the Sadist accommodated the change, I was going to pay for it. Strike two.

    None of these occurrences compiled themselves in my mind to give me something to worry about. No, I arrived flustered and rushed to find that Eve had set up on her own. This meant that all sorts of items were out, things that I probably wouldn’t have chosen. Ouchy things. I had given my limits months ago when the Sadist and I first played, and I hadn’t thought about updating that list before arriving. But the Sadist wasn’t the only one changing things up. I was too.

    When the Sadist and I first came together I had a master, and I had everything approved by him before I played with the Sadist. Now I was free of my contract, and I was the sole person responsible for negotiating the scene. But I had mostly forgotten about that until I was dressed in the outfit the Sadist had brought and bound to the large wooden frame at the center of the room. My thoughts resembled a sheaf of paper being thrown into the air on a blustery day. He approached me with safety scissors in hand, and it finally occurred to me that I had no idea what was going to happen. I hadn’t been proactive about what I wanted during our interaction, and now it was going to bite me in the ass. Probably literally.

    Well, damn, Heather

    The Sadist pinched and caressed me through the black dress as I watched him warily. He used the scissors to cut away the fabric over my breasts and pussy. Before I could ask anything, his hand came down swiftly in a chopping motion against my right nipple. The pain was swift and immediate, and I felt tears form at the corners of my eyes. He didn’t pause and whipped his hand down the front of the other nipple. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to cry from the pain or whether the nipple slapping reminded me so much of my ex. It was my ex who had trained me to endure nipple torture. He would hit me like that in the shower or anywhere I might be exposed. He was the only man who had hurt me in that way, and now the Sadist was doing it too. My feelings got tangled with the pain. Then the Sadist gripped my jaw and brought my gaze to his.

    “You’ve been very naughty, Heather.” He tapped my cheek with his thick fingers. “You didn’t update your calendar and then you were late.”

    I started to protest, and he smacked my cheek. Another slap. And another. I began to cry in earnest.

    Again he began slapping my nipples, but I couldn’t bear it. I said “yellow,” and breathed a sigh of relief when he stepped back. Of course that respite was short. He cut more holes in the dress and abused more flesh. He tickled me, because he knew I hated it, then slapped me again when I laughed helplessly. When the cloth hung off me in strips, he shoved aside the remnants of the black thong I wore and rubbed my clit in rough circles. He knew I wouldn’t orgasm like that, but he handled me in such a way because he knew he could. It was degrading, and the humiliation made my cheeks burn in addition to the slaps.

    That was probably the biggest difference of all. The Sadist had arrived this day with the confidence of knowing the submissive he was dealing with. This was our fourth time playing, and he seemed confident that he could challenge me. I felt that self-assurance in every slap, every strike of the cane, in the way he tied me and pushed in ways that he hadn’t before. He punched the meaty part of my chest and paddled the bottoms of my feet. He explored the most sensitive parts of my body with brutal calculation, favoring the tender flesh on my sides and inner thighs. The hardest part, for me, was the predicament bondage that he had dreamed up for the occasion.

    The man tore off the remnants of my clothes and unhooked the spreader bar. He made me stand parallel to the wooden frame with my arms stretched straight in front of me. Around each wrist he looped rope that was then tied to the frame. If I dropped my arms, the loops around each wrist would tighten. He clipped pulleys to the chains at the top of the frame, and fed rope through each. He tied frozen bottles of water to the ends. But it was the other end of the rope that made me anxious. Each rope was tied to a zipper of clothespins. (A zipper is a term to describe clothespins tied in a consecutive line to rope or string. Once the clothespins are pinched on the skin of the submissive, the top can pull one end of the string and pull each clip off in rapid succession. When the clothespins are lining each side of the labia, for example, they come off like the teeth of a zipper.)

    One zipper had ten clothespins that pinched my labia, and the other longer zipper had clothespins circling each breast like a deranged porcupine. The issue was never the clothespins going on in these situations. The painful repercussions always happened when they were ripped off and blood rushed back to the wounded areas.

    My predicament was this: if I dropped the water bottles, the weight would rip off the zippers. If I dropped the water under two minutes, we would start all over again. If I held the freezing water bottles for longer, he would tie on more bottles and things would become heavier. The decision was agony. There was no way I could “win.” Any which way and those zippers would come off. I debated and squirmed as the icy bottles melted in my hands. Two more bottles went on as I danced in place. My arms were tiring quickly. I decided finally to drop the bottles on my left that were tied to the zipper around my pussy. Squeezing my eyes shut in tense anticipation, I dropped the bottles. They fell to the floor with a thud, but the zipper stayed.

    “What happened?” I shrieked, going on to my tiptoes in response to the tightened clothespins.

    The Sadist looked at me calmly. “I suppose we need more weight.” He grabbed the rope and yanked with all his might.

    The clothespins flew off my pussy, and I would have doubled over if I hadn’t been tied to the other one. I made a garbled exclamation, the pain between my legs distracting me from articulation.

    “Going to let go of the other?” he asked with mild amusement.

    It didn’t matter what I decided. No sooner had the bottle dropped from my hand then he was jerking the other rope. This time I shrieked and clutched my abused breasts. I hadn’t felt anything like that in ages, and the sharp pain of the blood circulating made me whimper. The Sadist pushed the frozen bottles against my nipples, and I begged him to stop being helpful.  

    He wasn’t finished with me yet. The Sadist had me lie down on the massage table, and then used almost every implement laid out beside his tea cup. He turned my body from pale pink to bright red. And he saved the cane for last. The thing that I loathed and loved, the only tool that was guaranteed to undo the last pieces of my self-control. Again it was because of my ex.

    The cane had been his favorite, and I through the years of us being master and slave, I had learned to read the strength and angle of its fall against my flesh like reading the sky for clues to the weather. I couldn’t be caned and not think of my ex. The Sadist didn’t know that part of it, so it didn’t slow him. The caning felt like it lasted forever, and the bruises it gave me matched the ones on my heart. I cried, my sobs muffled by the pillow beneath me.

    Finally he decided to finish it, and he pulled me to my feet and had me pick out a dildo. I pushed it into place on the fucking machine and sat down so that I straddled the stiff rubber cock. The Sadist then rocked me back and forth on the machine, controlling how fast the dildo penetrated my pussy. I had orgasm after orgasm, my tears replaced with sweat and cum. Finally he stopped the machine, and I tried to get my synapses firing again.

    I have no idea what I said or what he said at that point. We spoke of something pleasant before he left, I’m sure. I don’t remember much of anything except that I gave him many hugs in gratitude. My brain had stopped working but my heart was full. I hope he knew how thankful I was for the pain and the pleasure. And the bittersweet memories too.

  2. Fall Slave Hunt

    October 2, 2013 by Heather Cole

    And that's my "good" side.

    And that’s my “good” side.

    After an event like the Slave Hunt, it’s difficult to know where to begin describing my experience. At the spring Hunt, I focused on being hunted and then punished for trying to “run away.” The physical sensations of being chased and then beaten were overwhelming at times. It felt like riding a roller coaster, and at the end of the day, I literally collapsed into bed. I was emotionally and physically wrung out.

    The fall Slave Hunt was a deeper experience. The series of events was similar; I ran through the woods, hid and was captured by a Dom with a paintball gun. Once back at basecamp, I stripped and was dragged by the hair to the whipping post by a petite badass named Angel. I was then cuffed to the post by sir and beaten by some wonderful people. These things had happened before, but the feeling of it was incredibly rich. Like I was seeing everything through technicolor orgasm.

    What was the difference? Connection.

    There was a group of people waiting for me at the whipping post, their hands wrapped around all sorts of implements of torture. There were canes, paddles and a heavy duty sweat scraper, even kitchen utensils. Just because a spatula says “Be Mine” on it in fancy script doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. And sometimes the thinnest canes are the worst. Four words:  Wandarella’s Baton of Agony.

    As they stepped closer, I had a glimpse of what it must have felt like to be an ogre surrounded by townspeople with pitchforks. The difference was that I knew these people. They were my friends, people I had met in the community and some I even considered family. In that moment, I felt buoyed by our connections. They wanted to hit me, and I wanted them to. And in the midst of pain, I found joy. The sting of impact transformed to love, and the energy bubbling around us felt like golden soaring happiness.

    Don’t get me wrong. The shit hurt like the devil, and I pride myself on being quiet and taking my beating like a good girl. I can assure you, this time I was the opposite of quiet when Timber sunk her teeth into me. And I screamed when she marked me, up one side of my back and down the other. Over and over again. The pain was searing, almost a tearing sensation because her teeth gripped my flesh in a way toys won’t. There were moments when I couldn’t see the end of it, and no matter how I twisted my body on the post, there was someone waiting to make contact with my flesh.

    I was on the cusp of dreamy subspace when Angel made her way over to us. In fact, sir was just about to bring me to orgasm when she pinched me using the strong tips of her fingernails. One minute I was about to plunge into ecstasy, and the next I was back at the surface shrieking with pain. Neither of them stopped, of course. Like fire ant bites, her pinches ran up and down my stomach, across my nipples, and over my pussy. Sir was caning me, I think, and then suddenly each one of them had a nipple in their mouth. I was so scared. Holy fucking shit, was I scared. I caught my breath, panic spilling through me as Angel pulled. Before I could react, sir’s fingers were rubbing my clit.

    “I can smell you,” he said.

    “I can smell you too,” Angel said. “You smell aroused.”

    I was too embarrassed to reply, because it was absolutely true. Sir’s other hand came from behind to tease my pussy, and then Angel’s voice was in my ear.

    “Is his hand in your pussy?”

    “Yes,” I said, feeling an orgasm begin to build.

    “Are you going to come?” she demanded.

    “Yes. Yes! YES! I’m coming!” I shouted.

    At least, it sounded like a shout to me. The roar of the orgasm and the pain of Angel’s pinches and teeth combined in a glorious cacophony in my head as the physical pleasure rippled through my body. My world had dwindled to the two sadists on either side of me, and the sensations rocketing through my body. I felt boneless and weightless and divine. I didn’t feel like I was done, but sir said I was. After a few licks from a friend’s new boot paddle, of course.

    Sir wrapped me in a blanket and made me sit down after it was over. He brought me snacks to eat and water to drink as I stared at nothing, totally blissed out on endorphins. I couldn’t help but think about how far we had traveled together since our last Hunt, and that was probably the biggest difference for me. Our connection has had five months to strengthen and mature. It has been tested, and we’ve both grown in our experience and dedication to our dynamic. We have made friends in the community together, and we’re learning what D/s means for us. Together we are part of this amazing web of people and connections and energy that makes up our community. And at the Slave Hunt, I had the opportunity to feel ALL of it.

    I didn’t get a chance to look in the mirror until we were home. When I did, I saw that my thighs were purple with scratches and bruises as was my ass. Each of Timber’s bite marks was ringed with deep red which I knew from previous experience would turn blue by morning. I had “BEAUTIFUL” written across my abdomen in blue marker that I can still see today. And maybe that’s the greatest takeaway of this experience. I see these marks and remember the people that gave them to me out of love and camaraderie, and I feel beautiful. I feel accepted. I had a moment surrounded by community where I could be exactly the thing that I am. The part of me that I used to be afraid to show, was set free to be seen by everyone. And that shadow animal was deemed beautiful too. Everything was just… beautiful.