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Being Submissive Doesn’t Make Me a Doormat

March 24, 2013 by Heather Cole

I’ve said that a lot since I came out as a BDSM slave, and it’s a common misconception even among kinksters. Just because I submit to my Dom, doesn’t mean that I submit to every Tom, Dick and Harry that crosses my path. Nor does it mean that I’m passive in my “regular” life. I consider myself a feminist… a feminist slave! It’s the most beautiful contradiction. And I’m not alone.

“Being submissive is very compatible with feminism because it is choosing your own form of sexual expression. In the end, sexuality is empowering—and you can empower people in all the diverse ways that they enjoy sexuality. Power exchanges are one of those ways.” — Susan Wright, founder/president of a sexual rights organization called the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

This article is a must read for anyone (traditional or kinky) who wants to better understand the submissives they interact with or want to dominate.

Women Who Like to Be Dominated in Bed: Talking to BDSM Submissives

Submissive kinky women are far from the shrinking violets that BDSM’s critics have characterized them as being. Often they’re women who know exactly what they want.


  1. Gooblaster says:

    An outstanding article. People who view women who choose to submit as weak or victimized are dead wrong. I have noticed that communication particularily about sexual activities is much better in a dominant/submissive relationship.

  2. H.H. says:

    Feminism, as I understand it, is about liberation. That includes being liberated from so-called second wave feminists who claim that every act of penetration of a cunt by a cock is a political act that reinforces the patriarchal hierarchy.

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