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Dear Nikki: Sexy Time Safety

February 28, 2014 by Nikki Blue


Just a note to ooh and ahh about your blog. I imagine sitting around a kitchen table with you and Heather over a bottle of wine while enjoying (and admittedly being incredibly turned on by) your tales in person. A room filled with laughter and suggestive lip chewing. How fun to have a girlfriend to share your adventures with. Know how grateful I am you two so candidly share via the blog.

While I have a zillion questions may I ask just one? When you and Mr. K play with others you have referenced condoms. What ground rules did you two establish for ‘protection’ when mingling?

Thanks in advance!


Dear Rachel,

Heather and I love, love, LOVE ooh’s and ahh’s! Truthfully, they make us downright giddy. And having a bestie to share the intimate and explicit details of sexy time is totally swoon worthy. Hell, Heather knows the inside of my vagina almost as well as Mr. K. There was even a time when she referred to my updates as “The Vagina Report.” Kind of like Inside Story, but way juicier.

If you’ve read Vagina Antics for any length of time you know I’m super serious when it comes to safe sex. And because my vag is the delicate flower that it is, arriving at the decision to play with another couple made for bumpier travels than agreeing to share another woman. But the ground rules for protection in both scenarios were simple: No condoms, No penetration.

For us, the use of condoms when playing with a couple safeguards against more than the possibility of infections. It protects the implicit trust and incredible intimacy we share in private. And that’s something neither of us are willing to trade for a bareback romp with others.

Fingers, however, are a little more challenging to control. They can slide out of one orifice and into another before it’s realized, so if you’re terribly paranoid like me, I suggest keeping a handy-dandy pack of antibacterial wipes next to the bed for quick swipes in between.

The use of condoms greatly reduce the risk of acquiring an STI/STD, but HPV and HSV are spread through skin-to-skin contact. This means that even if you’re nekkid dry humping or getting down with some super hot mutual masturbation, HPV and HSV can be transmitted if present. And they don’t always present symptoms which is why protection is an absolute must when expanding your play circle.

When it comes to opening your bed up to another couple, never assume they are infection/disease free because they’re married or in a long-term relationship. And don’t wait for them to volunteer the information. Step up and ask. It really is that simple. But even then– unless you exchange test results –you only have them at their word. So unless they’re swearing on a bible in front of a Supreme Court judge, protect yourself. Play smart and play it safe.



  1. Serafina says:

    I am so glad there are uber conservative safe sex practice’s like myself! great– no- excellent write up and very timely reminder- thank you for writing this!

  2. Nikki Blue says:

    You’re welcome, Serafina! And thank you! It amazes me how blazé some still are in regards to safe sex. We had one woman tell us she was allergic to ALL condoms so they couldn’t be used. We said NOPE, no way, no how.

  3. Joe_Kickass says:

    “You shoulda put a sock on the pickle / Then your pussy wouldn’t be blowing smoke signals.” ~ Ice Cube (Look Who’s Burning)

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