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Boobs, Junk Punches, and Science

August 5, 2014 by Nikki Blue

Yesterday I stumbled across this article on the interwebz, and to say that it angered me is a gross understatement. The author deserves a junk punch for the title alone.

5 Signs Her Breasts Are Fake

See? Junk punch totally deserved.

And the tagline…

Here’s how to tell–without being a total creep! 


The author’s attempt at not being a creep was a total failure. He did, however, pull off body-shaming women with breast implants with flying colors, so kudos to him.

Normally this is where I would spew a host of reasons why it doesn’t matter if a woman’s breasts are fake or not, post a photograph of my breast implants, or call him out for being a critical douchebag, but I’m above that sort of behavior, mostly. I will, though, point out that he used ‘silicon’ twice in his horribly offensive article when ‘silicone’ would have been the correct term. I would have written the first off as a typo and tried to look past it, which is super hard because typos freak me out, but the second slip told me didn’t know the difference between between a synthetic compound and a chemical element, and THAT was a fuck-up I found strangely comforting.


  1. Jaye says:

    How to tell if a guy is a creep –

    He writes blogs about fake boobs.

  2. Gooblaster says:

    I did not waste my time clicking on the link.
    There are many many different types of folk all at different stages of development.
    Eventually the class clown has to grow up.
    Please do not judge me for feeling this way as I have a fake bone in my tibia. It does not contain silicon.

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